


Where You Belong

by Tonks914



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Coma, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Healer James, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, Sharing a Bed, alcohol consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23764573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonks914/pseuds/Tonks914
Summary: He lost everything during the coma. His flat, his girlfriend, his career, and six years of his life. Now, as James -- who he remembers as a mischievous fourteen year old but is now a fit healer -- helps him adjust to his new normal, Teddy discovers that what he gains might just make up for all the rest.
Relationships: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter
Comments: 29
Kudos: 175
Collections: JeddyFest_2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing has ever caused me to feel as creatively blocked as this quarantine. Because of this, I'm so proud, not necessarily of the content or structure of this fic, but just because I managed to get the words out. Massive thank yous - to Janel for being the bees knees and giving us this fest again this year; to Corie for the super fast beta and for always managing to find something nice to say, even when things are bleak; and finally, to the most supportive group of humans to exist -- the next gen discord. <3 you all!

Race you!” James shouts before breaking into a run, weaving his way through the disgruntled shoppers lining Diagon Alley.

Teddy knows he shouldn’t. He’s not fourteen anymore, unlike James. He’s a grown man with a job in the Ministry, for Circe’s sake. Where people will forgive James’s indiscretions because of a well-timed wink and a boyish smile, Teddy risks a proper altercation.

He screws his face to the side, weighing his options, when James, having circled back, breaks through both the crowd and his thoughts. 

“Your face looks ugly when you do that, you know?” he snarks, jogging in place a yard in front of Teddy, a mischievous smirk lighting up his freckled face. “Vic will never snog you again if it gets stuck like that. But she’ll probably never snog you again once she realizes you’re a boring old man now, either.”

Teddy scoffs and James’s grin widens at the reaction.  _ Fuck ‘shouldn’t _ ,’ Teddy thinks,  _ the job is more of an internship anyway, _ and he breaks into a full sprint – smacking James in the head as he races past the spirited teen.

Teddy arrives at the cafe relatively unscathed. He can’t say the same for the man whose foot he stepped on, but at least he’d managed to avoid ploughing into the man’s young daughter. He knows he had quite a lead on James so he chuckles to himself as he sets the scene. He calms his breathing and morphs his hair into something respectable, smoothing his crumpled clothes as he sits down at a table in front of an abandoned coffee cup. When the bell chimes, he looks up, unhurried, and is rewarded with the image of a panting James looking completely exasperated in his direction.

“There you are!” Teddy says with an over the top smile, lifting the coffee mug in greeting. “I would’ve ordered you something but I wasn’t sure what you’d want.”

“Oh, bullshit!” James laughs, falling into the empty seat next to Teddy. “You know you’re absolutely infuriating,” he says but in a way that makes it clear he finds Teddy anything but.

“Nah, you love me,” Teddy states matter-of-factly. “Now, let’s take a look at your supplies list,” he says as the waitress arrives, removing the dirty mug and taking their orders in turn.

By the time the food arrives, they have a plan of action for their shopping trip - even figuring out that they can transfigure Teddy’s old school robes, which will save James enough money to be able to upgrade his required broom purchase to the newest model. 

“Hufflepuff doesn’t stand a chance this year with me on that broom!”

“Hmm, I might have to change my mind about offering up my robes if you’re going to use my kindness against the badgers. Or even better, I’ll jinx them!” he says excitedly.

“Please,” James deadpans. “Don’t think I didn’t see you representing the lion at our final last year. Admit it. It felt right, didn’t it?”

Teddy screws up his face. “Wasn’t as bad as expected,” he says, taking a sip of his drink. “But I could’ve done without all the ‘you look so much like your dad in that colour’ comments.”

“UGH,” James shouts dramatically, his head meeting the table briefly. “Whatever you do, please don’t mention that around Albus. He’s been absolutely insufferable lately for exactly that reason.”

Teddy just laughs, well aware of the challenges that Ginny and Harry are having with their middle child. Albus is great – he’s smart and has always been a bit more introverted, which Teddy can appreciate—but lately no one can deny that his quiet nature has transformed into surliness.

“So, are you coming to see us off?” James asks, using his fingers to fish out a cracker that has fallen into his soup.

“No. I can’t. Sorry.”

There’s a small pause as James licks the soup off of the tips of his fingers. “If Vic had another year I bet you’d come see her off.” James laughs, trying to sell it as a joke, but it’s clear there is truth behind his words. 

“Oi!” Teddy says, poking James in the ribs. “That’s unfair. You know I work.”

“I know, I just… forget I mentioned it,” he says, bringing his full attention back to his soup. He takes a few bites before speaking again, barely a whisper. “I just don’t know why you like her.”

Teddy takes a moment to respond, confused by the turn in conversation. James has always taken the piss about his relationship with Victoire but this is the first he has ever expressed any real discomfort with the pairing. There’s a nagging voice in the back of his head that wonders if James has picked up on Teddy’s own perplexity about his relationship, or rather about the fact that Matteo from the mail room has recently started starring in more of his late night fantasies than his own girlfriend. He reckons that is impossible, though. “What can I say? I have a soft spot for people with Weasley genetics,” he jokes fondly, jostling James with his shoulder.

James offers a weak smile in return. 

An uncomfortable silence settles over them. There’s an air of sadness around James that is completely at odds with his usual demeanor. Teddy hates it and desperately wants it to go away.

“How about I take my lunch break and apparate over to see you off?” he offers.

James looks up abruptly, clearly surprised by the suggestion. “You don’t have to,” James starts. “I shouldn’t have– “

“You should have, Jamie. You—“

Before he can continue, the bell on the door chimes, announcing someone’s arrival and pulling all of Teddy’s attention. An older man stands in the entrance and the moment Teddy lays eyes on him he is instantly ill-at-ease – his heart rate picking up and the hair on his arms standing. Something about the way he’s staring, the way he’s stalking towards them – like he doesn’t see anything in the room but James. In those milliseconds, Teddy wants to assume that this is someone who James wronged during their race but his mind won’t let him accept the best of this man. That’s when he sees it. The wand. The wand being raised. The wand being pointed directly at —

“JAMIE!” he screams, throwing his body forward.

And everything goes black.

Teddy blinks his eyes open against harsh lighting and stark white walls. His mind is foggy and his vision blurred, his chest tight with anxiety – its cause eluding him. A man to his left, his legs propped up haphazardly on the side of Teddy’s bed, is apparently having a steady stream of conversation with no one. It’s hard to make him out at first since Teddy’s eyes refuse to work properly but the man’s lime green robes give him away as a healer immediately. 

This man is a  _ healer _ .That’s when it clicks; the realization hitting him with the strength of a wayward bludger. He must be in St Mungo’s. Possibly for an injury sustained during the attack at the cafe – the attack on Jamie.

_ Jamie _ .

Teddy needs to know if he’s okay, he strains to make out the words but he’s failing, his body refusing to do what he’s asking of it. A flash of panic strikes as he thinks he must have a head injury, maybe he’s even paralyzed, but he bats those thoughts away as soon as they surface – he’ll deal with all of that after he finds out about James. 

By calming his mind and his breathing, he’s able to focus all of his attention on moving the left arm that sits lifelessly across his stomach. He imagines lifting it with ease and smacking this healer’s foot with all of his strength. 

It isn’t until he hears the man startle and sees the stack of papers flying into the air that Teddy realizes he actually did it – he made contact. 

“Teddy?!” the man asks, and Teddy has only a moment to register how familiar that voice is before the man is on him – the glowing tip of his wand at his face, casting unfamiliar spells over Teddy’s arrested body.

“Teddy, can you hear me?” the man asks, a desperate edge to his voice.

Teddy tries to nod, to say something to acknowledge his question and ask the most important one of his own, but his mouth is so bloody dry.

“No, it’s fine. Don’t talk yet,” the man assures him. “Just blink twice if you understand me.”

Teddy swallows hard, concentrating on his eyes and blinks twice slowly.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” the very unprofessional healer exclaims before taking a few steps away from the bed and calling something unintelligible out the door. 

A young mediwitch with light blonde hair comes to the room and there’s a moment where Teddy blinks and can see her properly, then just as quickly blinks again back to blurriness – that’s good though, his vision isn’t totally gone. 

“Get Healer Monroe and contact my family immediately. Teddy is awake. He’s awake and he’s responsive,” the healer finishes, his words directed towards the young woman. 

None of this matters though; Teddy needs to know that everything is okay, that James is okay. He tries again to speak but his words come out croaky and incoherent. “Shhh,” the healer placates, running a comforting hand over Teddy’s head. “It’s okay. Everything is okay. You’re in St. Mungo’s.”

Teddy is frustrated, he needs to make himself heard so he uses every ounce of his strength and croaks out one word, a quiet, “Jamie.”

The man freezes, his hand stilling against Teddy’s hair and his reaction causes Teddy to fear the worst. Maybe he doesn’t want to know anymore; maybe he should have stayed asleep if waking up means facing a world without James Potter. His eyes begin to tear as memories with his young godbrother – his favorite person – play in his head.

A lump forms in the back of his throat and he struggles to swallow around it, breathing hard through his nose. No matter how much this hurts, he needs to know now. “Is Jamie okay?” he whispers.

“Yeah,” the healer breathes, his voice thick and Teddy can feel his own relief so intensely – it’s like another person in the room. “Yes. Everything is okay, Teds. Everyone is okay now.”

Teddy isn’t sure whether it is the high emotions of the moment or just his mind going into self-preservation mode, but he believes the man whole-heartedly. He lets out a harsh breath and closes his eyes, allowing the hand in his hair to bring him some much needed comfort just as another healer frantically enters the room, breaking into his reverie. 

“What happened?” the woman barks.

“I don’t know,” Teddy’s healer says, removing his hand and moving to stand on the far side of the room – Teddy wishes he wouldn’t go. “I was just in here for my lunch break like always and he bloody woke up.”

“Did you perform all the basic diagnostic spells?” the healer asks, while moving her wand in complicated patterns up and down Teddy’s body.

“Yes,” Teddy’s healer answers. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Good, good,” the woman says before leaning down to speak directly to Teddy. “I’m healer Monroe. I’ve been your healer for your time here at St. Mungo’s. I’m sure you have many questions but first I need to ensure that there are no underlying complications which need to be addressed. So, are you experiencing any discomfort?”

Teddy nods and places his hand on his throat. “Sore and dry,” he croaks before motioning to his eyes. “And they’re very blurry.”

“That’s to be expected,” Monroe says, nodding happily before placing her wand to Teddy’s temple and muttering a spell that has Teddy’s vision instantly clearing. “Better?” she asks.

Teddy’s eyes dart around the room, taking in the harsh, white walls; the brightly coloured cards and photographs on his side table; the first healer he interacted with, who is leaned against the far wall, his head in his hands. He’s about to question the man’s odd demeanor when Monroe continues.

“You’ve been in a coma Mr. Lupin,” she says gravely.

Teddy’s attention snaps back to her. “A coma?”

“Yes, you –“ she starts but is interrupted by a very disheveled looking Harry and Ginny running into the room.

The two stop immediately at the healer by the door, speaking over each other in their haste for information.

“James, honey, we just got the call,” Ginny says.

“Is he really--?” Harry starts.

Teddy smiles his first smile since he woke up because Harry’s shirt is on backwards and he’s pretty sure that Ginny’s shoes don’t match. In spite of his fear, he feels very loved right now. “Harry? Gin?”

“Teddy,” Harry sobs with relief. “Oh my God, Teddy.” He lunges forward, his head full of unruly black hair falling to Teddy’s stomach as his body is racked with sobs.

Teddy startles, confused by his Godfather’s reaction. He looks up to Ginny in hopes of some clarity but she’s equally as distressed, crying softly, her face pressed against the healer by the door, which is... odd.

Teddy’s anxiety is back, clawing up his chest and forcing his breathing to come out in pants. He should feel comforted right now but he can’t shake this feeling of uneasiness, as if something is very strange – very wrong. It’s only when Harry sits up, asking if he’s okay, and smiling nervously, that Teddy realizes why–  _ Ginny had said, James _ . 

Ignoring his Godfather, he properly looks at the healer by the door for the first time – he’s a handsome man, probably in his early twenties with messy auburn hair and more freckles than you can count across the bridge of his nose. Teddy would know; he had tried one time, on that one sunny, autumn day in the backyard of the Burrow. That’s absurd though because that was just last year and James was an awkward boy going through puberty, not a fit healer who towers over his mother. Even as he thinks it though, Teddy knows it to be true, he knows that face, just as he knew that voice when he first opened his eyes, just as he knew the touch that comforted him through his first moments awake.

“James?” he whispers.

James swallows hard, a clear attempt to keep his composure, and nods.

“Like I was saying, Mr. Lupin,” healer Monroe continues, pulling his attention back to her. “I’m sorry to tell you but you’ve been in a coma – for the last six years.”

_ Six years? _ Healer Monroe goes on but Teddy can’t hear a word of it. He is falling - his heart beating out of his chest, his breathing coming in gasps, his vision blacking around the edges.  _ Maybe he’s dying after all _ , he thinks, as his senses begin to fade.

_ Six years. _

When Teddy opens his eyes again it’s, thankfully, to a much calmer scene. He’s happy to see that the lights have been dimmed and even more so, that Healer Monroe is no longer looming over him, relaying horrifying news.

Harry sits by the window, paging through papers and quietly cursing under his breath and Teddy smiles ear to ear when he looks to his right and sees his grandmother.

“Gran?”

“Oh, my love,” she says, standing and kissing him softly on his forehead the way she used to do when he was small. “I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to hear that beautiful voice again.”

Her voice is full of emotion but it doesn’t break — she’s Andromeda Tonks after all — the strongest woman Teddy knows. A brief pang of guilt shoots through his body at the thought that his absence was yet another cause for her to need to tap into that strength. 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Gran.”

“Oh, don’t you dare,” she says fiercely, her eyes brimming with tears as she kisses him again. “I’m so proud of you. So bloody proud. And you’re okay now,” she finishes with a nod. 

Harry is standing on his other side but hesitates to come any closer, a clear attempt to give them a moment of their own. Teddy reaches his hand out to his Godfather who accepts it easily, moving to the side of the bed.

“Are you feeling a bit better?” he asks, squeezing Teddy’s hand. 

“A little less foggy,” Teddy admits, eyeing Harry properly for the first time. He's obviously recognizable as himself but now that Teddy is looking at him more closely, he can see the changes there — the fresh lines around his eyes, a bit of extra cushion around his midsection, a few extra wisps of grey. It's bizarre. 

They sit in silence for a few minutes, the truth of what has transpired hanging over them. Everything about this feels entirely surreal, as if he’s going to startle awake at any moment, groggy and running fifteen minutes late for work. The fact that he’s lost so much time is nearly impossible for him to comprehend, but he knows in his heart that the sooner he accepts it, the better.

“Six years?” Teddy finally asks quietly.

“Are you sure you’re ready to hear it?” Harry asks, looking sympathetic. “James says we should take our time. He feels badly that he didn’t leave as soon as you woke up but, like us, he was just so bloody happy to see you awake.” He laughs but there’s not much humour in it, Teddy appeases him with a small smile of his own – this is so strange.

Wasting more time seems a ridiculous thing to do when faced with the loss of six years, though. “I’m ready,” he says, attempting to sit up and startling when he finds that he’s shaking under the weight of his own body.

Without a word, Harry grips him underneath his arms, and hoists him to a sitting position. “Thanks,” he says with a weak smile.

“James warned us about that too,” Andromeda says as Harry fluffs the pillows behind his back. “He says that your body is just not used to moving. It’ll come back quickly though.”

Harry retrieves a chair from against the wall and sits down at Teddy’s side.

He takes a deep breath before speaking. “Can you remember that day in Diagon Alley?” he asks solemnly.

Of course he can, he thinks bitterly, to him it was only yesterday – comments like that will only hurt them more though so he keeps it to himself and nods. “Yeah. James and I had popped into the cafe for a bite to eat before we started shopping,” he recalls. “You know how James gets when he’s hungry.” He lets out a small laugh but Harry is only eyeing him sadly. He wonders briefly if James is even like that anymore but quickly shakes the thought away, instead focusing on the memories of that day. “That man – as soon as he came in I knew something was wrong – that he was going to hurt James.” Teddy shivers under the memory of the man’s dead eyes trained on the young teen. His mouth is so dry, he looks to the side table and is pleased to see a small glass of water sitting there. His Gran holds it to his lips and he takes a small sip, grimacing as the liquid burns his throat. 

“Anyway,” Teddy continues with a cough, he's ready to get this over with. “He went for his wand and I don’t really remember—”

“You jumped in front of him, Teddy” Harry interrupts, his voice breaking. “You jumped in front of my boy. You sacrificed yourself without even a thought.”

“You’re a hero,” Andromeda adds, her voice wavering. “Just like your mum.”

A hero? Is he a hero? He tries desperately to recall what was going through his head during the attack but it was so fast. There were no decisions made that he would take James’s place, whatever the fate, just this guttural, desperate need to get to James, to keep him safe. 

“Someone else in the cafe was able to restrain him. He was using you boys to get to me, of course.” Harry takes a moment to compose himself and Teddy is surprised to see genuine hate pass across his God father’s face. “Anyway, he’s in Azkaban now.”

When it’s clear that Harry needs a break, his Gran carries on with the story. “We thought you were dead at first. They rushed you here as quickly as possible but, Teddy, you can’t even imagine. It looked so bad. Gods, little James was completely distraught,“ she says, totally lost in thought, “I’ll never forget them pinning him down and sedating him while he fought.”

Little Jamie Potter so fiercely protective of the people he loves, Teddy can see it so clearly, his pain and desperation, it breaks his fucking heart. He swipes at his eyes trying to remind himself that James is fine now, that he’d seen him earlier with his own eyes.

“They told us that the spell was killing you,” Andromeda continues. “That they had to induce a magical coma to give your body time to heal. It was only supposed to be for two months, just until your body could fight the curse. And that’s all it took, two months later and there was no trace of it anywhere in your system. We were all so hopeful but when they tried to wake you up – you wouldn’t.”

“We had every specialist from all over the world in here,” Harry cuts in. “Your body had been through so much, they said it just needed more time, something about self-preservation kicking in. That made sense at first but then —”

Teddy doesn’t want to hear about how they slowly lost hope, how they sat watching his lifeless body day after day, month after month, year after year, mourning someone who was right in front of them. He nods his head hoping that he can convey his understanding without their elaborating. 

“So, James is a healer now?” he asks, changing the subject.

Harry smiles sadly. “First year but he’s already a damn good one,” he says with more than a hint of pride. “I think at first he was hoping that he could figure this out and wake you up.”

“Did he?” Teddy asks, remembering James at his side when he first opened his eyes.

“Nope,” an unexpected voice replies. Teddy follows the voice and his heart seizes up. Leaning against the door frame is James, his robes discarded but still wearing the lime green trousers and a white t-shirt. Age suits him – his playful demeanor enhancing his striking face, the t-shirt doing little to hide his sculpted body - he’s grown up to be quite beautiful. “That was the hope originally but it turns out that students and first year healers don’t know more than seasoned researchers and specialists. A small miscalculation on my part.”

For a moment, the room is silent, before Teddy’s face splits into a wide grin and a laugh bubbles to the surface. For some reason, he has been assuming that James would have changed over the years. He’s thrilled to see that’s not the case. “Well, you can’t be expected to be perfect all the time,” he says.

James gives him an easy smile, it might look superficial to everyone else but Teddy can see the emotions building there. He sits at Teddy's side, biting his lip in a clear attempt to stifle tears. “Hi, Teddy," he whispers. 

Teddy smiles warmly, battling unexpected emotions of his own. "Hi, James."

James laughs, a warm sound that makes the bleak hospital room seem suddenly full of life "Is this okay?” he asks, motioning to himself in a tone that Teddy knows well — making it clear he's up to no good. “Not weirding you out too much? You’re not going to swoon and faint in my presence again?”

Teddy lets out a very unattractive snort. “I did not swoon.”

“Hey! You remember it your way, I’ll remember it mine,” he finishes with a dramatic wink that has Gran and Harry sharing eye rolls. “Seriously though," James says, dropping his voice, "okay?”

“Yeah,” Teddy assures him. “It’s weird – you being a grown up, I mean, but it seems like you’re still the same pain in my arse so there’s a certain familiarity there.”

James smiles a full toothy smile but Teddy can see the tears threatening to spill from his long eyelashes. He tries desperately to stop his mind from conjuring images of the James he knew sitting inconsolably at his bedside. 

“How old are you now?” He asks, hoping to distract them both.

“Oh, uh, Twenty.”

“Twenty?” Teddy exclaims, an indignant sound leaving the back of his throat. “Jesus. So that makes me what, 26? I’m old!”

“OI!” Harry shouts.

Gran smacks him lightly on the shoulder. “What he said but even more offended!”

Teddy laughs but his mind is stuck on the fact that James is his age now. Well, not his age exactly, because he’s apparently  _ twenty six years old _ . This is all too weird. He can’t do this to himself, can’t think about what that amount of time lost means for him. He can feel it there – the clamminess of his hands, his heart beating rapidly beneath the drab hospital gown – his mind wants to spiral but he can’t let it.

“Albus and Lily?” he asks suddenly, too suddenly he’s sure but to their credit, everyone ignores it.

“They’re good,” Harry says. “Lily is still at school and Albus is studying magizoology – habitat design specifically. We wanted to give you time before bringing in everyone you’ve ever met. Ginny went to fill them in though.”

“And uh, Vic?” he asks quietly, only now realizing her absence.

Something dark passes across James’s face as the silence stretches long enough that Teddy gathers that it’s bad news.

“A lot of time has passed, Teddy.” Harry mumbles. 

Teddy understands his meaning without needing him to elaborate. He nods his head wondering why he doesn’t feel more sadness, maybe he is just in shock.

“She’s okay though?” Teddy directs his question to Harry, sensing James’s and his Gran’s growing agitation.

“Yeah, definitely,” Harry insists. “She’s living in France.” 

“I never liked her anyway,” Gran spits, abruptly. 

“Amen, Grandy!” James shouts, high fiving Andromeda who lets out a bark of laughter.

And that’s new. They always enjoyed each other’s company, but Teddy would have never considered them close. From the way they’re laughing together, though, their affection is apparent. “Grandy?” he asks.

“Oh, right,” James smiles sheepishly. “She’s been renamed. It started as Gran Andy but now…Teddy meet Grandy. I also hate to break it to you but I’m now her favourite. We all know that was inevitable though.” They all chuckle, as James stands. “Well, I have to get back to rounds but I really came in to deliver this.” He makes an over dramatic flourish with his hands before producing a small tub of blue jelly. “They only have orange today but lucky for you, I know where they keep the good stuff.” He flashes Teddy a conspiratorial grin and winks, his dimples flashing in a way that makes something strange twist Teddy’s chest. And  _ that _ is  _ definitely _ new. 

As Teddy watches him leave, he can’t help but think that little Jamie Potter may have grown up to be too charming for his own good.

The next two weeks pass in a blur of family visits, countless tests with Healer Monroe, and grueling physical therapy sessions with James. He never would have guessed that being so loved and cared for would be so exhausting. But he’d be lying if he said that having people constantly around him wasn’t slowly smothering him to death. Well, with the exception of James, that is.

Interacting with James is effortless, albeit a bit strange in retrospect. The comfort and familiarity from childhood never leaves, sometimes making Teddy feel as though no time has passed for them. Other times, Teddy feels like he is meeting him for the first time, not a childish companion who keeps Teddy young but an intelligent peer with a sharp wit and disarming smile. 

Today Teddy has been forced to suffer hours without that smile while he struggles through awkward small talk with his best mate. Or he supposes Mattie might not still count as his best mate after six years apart? Six years during which Mattie – unreliable, always horny Mattie – has apparently gotten married and had a kid. 

Life is weird.

“So your wife is a healer?” he asks, pulling at the hem of his shirt and feeling immensely grateful that he is being allowed to wear his own clothes now. 

“Yep,” Mattie says jovially, apparently unaware of the awkwardness of the situation. “She and James are actually quite good friends. They did their rounds in the Poisoning Ward together last year.”

“Ahh.”

“That reminds me, we were thinking that once you are home and back up on your feet, maybe we could have you two over for dinner? Or even just drinks after the baby goes to bed?” Mattie looks so hopeful — like he can’t wait for things to go back to normal. As if there’s any such thing as normal for Teddy anymore.

“That’d be great,” he lies, wondering if faking a seizure to make this conversation stop would be too extreme a reaction. He is not sure why he’d thought he was emotionally ready to see Mattie – ready to be reminded of where he is supposed to be in life had six years not been stolen from him. Would he have been Mattie’s best man at his wedding? Would he be the baby’s Godfather? He can feel the panic clawing from the inside of his chest, like a beast thrashing against the metal bars that restrain it. If he doesn’t let it out, it will surely kill him. He needs to be alone.

“Hey there!” James’s welcome voice breaks into Teddy’s mind moments before he succumbs.

“Hey!” Teddy says on an exhale, feeling some of the tension release from his shoulders.

James eyes him thoughtfully before placing his cool palm against Teddy’s forehead, sweeping it through his hair as he removes it. “Are you feeling okay?”

Teddy only nods, blinking back the traitorous tears that have formed in the corners of his eyes. As if considering something, James takes a pause before turning to Mattie. “Well, I hate to kick you out but this man has some physical therapy to do.” he says and it makes Teddy want to cry all over again because it’s a lie – a lie for Teddy’s benefit. James does take his lunch breaks to walk Teddy around the long-term care ward, but there is no reason that Mattie has to leave for that.

“Yeah,” Teddy interjects, his own voice sounding strange to his ears. “Healer Monroe is insistent that I can’t be released until I can walk five laps unassisted. I swear I like that woman a little bit less every day.”

Mattie chuckles. “Don’t be too hard on her,” he says with a smile, bending down to give Teddy a hug. “She’s just trying to make sure you’re alright. You’ll let us know about dinner whenever you get the chance?”

Teddy offers a smile and a nod, watching as the door shuts behind Mattie’s retreat. He exhales hard, lying back and scrunching his eyes shut; and then James is there, placing two, cold fingers against his clammy wrist. Teddy allows it a moment before shifting his arm so that James’s whole hand rests against his skin.

“The touch helps?” he asks, squeezing Teddy’s wrist.

When Teddy nods, a second hand finds its way to his cheek, which he pushes against gratefully, as his breathing calms. 

In. 

Out.

In. 

Out.

In. 

Out.

After he feels as though the danger has passed, he flutters his eyes open and is rewarded with a comforting smile as James removes his hands. “Okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I am now,” Teddy says, and he’s surprised to realize he actually means it, pulling himself into a sitting position. “I think that was just more than I was ready for.”

James nods before sitting next to him on the bed. “I know a couple of good mind healers who can give you more grounding techniques for when that happens.”

Teddy groans, dropping his head into his hands – this is the last thing he wants to deal with. “No. I don’t need a mind healer,” he spits. “I’ll get it under control.”

James narrows his eyes at him for long enough that Teddy squirms uncomfortably. “Well if you change your mind,” he says, standing, “Dad and Albus both really like their mind healers. Mine is great too but I’m not sure she’d be willing to take you on as a patient since we’d both be working through a shared trauma.”

Teddy looks up abruptly.

“Surprised?” James asks, with a smile. “Turns out when you suffer a violent attack at fourteen that leaves your best mate in a prolonged coma, you have some shit to work out. It doesn’t make me weak though – the same would go for you.”

“I wasn’t – “

James waves him off. “Just promise me you’ll think about it?”

“I will,” he says, honestly.

“Good!” James announces, the last of the seriousness leaking out of his tone. “Now let’s get your lazy arse walking some laps.”

“You know, I can do this without your arms floating around me,” Teddy claims, swatting playfully at the hands that hover around his waist as the two begin their second lap. 

James grins at him but does nothing to change his position as they resume their agonizingly slow promenade around the ward. “As I recall, you used to be such a fan of the ‘I’m not touching you’ game,” he teases, bringing his finger within an inch of Teddy’s face before it is unceremoniously smacked away. “Anyway, I know it sucks but I’ll lose my job if you’re a stubborn git and refuse my help and then fall.”

Teddy makes a noise somewhere between annoyance and agreement as the two continue their shuffle.

“So, Mum tells me that Albus and Lily stopped by yesterday morning?”

“Yeah, it was awkward,” Teddy replies honestly. He’s feeling particularly surly today – maybe Albus is contagious.

James turns to look at him, presumably surprised by his candor. “Two rough visits in a row then? How was it awkward?”

Teddy shrugs. “To be fair, it’s awkward with most people, as you just saw in there. No one knows quite what to say. They either try to pretend that no time has passed – which is ridiculous – or treat me as if I have a terminal illness.”

“Why was it worse with Al and Lils then?” James probes.

Teddy thinks on it a moment, replaying the visit in his head, before speaking. “I guess since they were so young when it happened? It’s like they don’t fully remember me as a person. Just this heroic idea they have of me in their heads.”

“But Al is barely two years younger than me,” James counters.

“I know but it was always different with you, you know that. You were always my favourite.”

“Oooh – favourite Potter or favourite Weasley?” James asks excitedly, tugging Teddy’s arm to halt the other man. “The distinction matters.”

Teddy rolls his eyes. “Favourite person,” he says matter-of-factly as he continues to walk. It takes James a few seconds to catch up and when he does Teddy flashes him a smug smile – he took ten solo steps, after all. 

“So,” Teddy says. “Now that we’re not surrounded by the elderly, tell me about your social life!”

“Ha,” James laughs. “I’m a first year Healer, Teds, I don’t have a social life.”

“No girlfriend?” Teddy asks but in a way that makes it clear he’s skeptical. With James’s charm and good looks, Teddy finds that hard to believe that he’s not at least casually seeing someone. 

James appears cagey for a moment, averting his eyes . “No,” he mumbles, “I actually had a bad breakup right out of school”

Teddy scrunches up his nose in what he hopes resembles a sympathetic face, in truth he’s trying to imagine what type of person would be stupid enough to break it off with James Potter. “That’s rough,” he says, for lack of something better to say. “Who was it? Do I know her?”

“Ummm,” James hesitates for reasons lost on Teddy and what was just originally meant as a conversation starter to pass the time, now has him generally interested. “It was actually Max?”

“Oh,” Teddy says, his heart rate picking up as the full meaning behind James’s words sink in, “OH!”

“Yeah – “James replies, awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

Okay, James likes men then, no big deal. This is just something else they have in common, nothing that should cause his palms to sweat and his brain to short-circuit.

“Wait a second, you don’t mean Maximus Blight?!” Teddy shouts.

James lets out a bark of laughter nodding his confirmation. 

“Ugh — he was such a little twat,” Teddy continues. “He even tried to knock you off of your broom during quidditch trials.”

James chuckles to himself, clearly lost in memory. “Yeah, well we ended up on the team together eventually. And he was less of a git then.”

Teddy pulls a face, trying to imagine James in a romantic situation with Maximus – at first, the image is off-putting because he keeps picturing a thirteen year old–the only version of Max that he has any memory of at this point. However, when his mind manages to supply him with an older version of the man, Teddy has to question whether Max would be quite  _ that _ fit today. He shakes his head, hoping that the motion helps to clear his mind of the images. “That sounds like the start of a gay porn,” he admits.

James shrugs and smiles in that mischievous way that says Teddy’s comparison wasn’t that far off – he swallows hard, the thought of James having sex with a mate in the changing rooms doing funny things to his head. He suddenly wishes that there was a bit more distance between the two of them. 

“It doesn’t bother you then?” James whispers, his cocky edge gone completely.

“Don’t be stupid,” Teddy starts without hesitation, reaching out to ruffle James’s hair, “I would never care about something like that. I’m not straight either, actually.”

Teddy is taken aback by the words slipping out of his mouth so easily, words that he’s never said aloud, not even to himself. After so many hours spent agonizing in a state of confusion and he just says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. It’s comical really -- how nearly dying puts everything in perspective. 

He looks at James who has stopped in the middle of the hallway, repeatedly opening and closing his mouth in an impressive impression of a fish. “Wait, are you bi?”

Is he bi? He supposes that would fit better than any other term so he lifts one shoulder in a lazy shrug. “I guess.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that?” James shouts, smacking his arm. Teddy stumbles back a step; his legs are starting to get tired. 

“Well, I was dating a girl wasn’t I? It didn’t seem worth the trouble.”

James’s mouth twists unpleasantly at the mention of Victoire. Teddy eyes him for a moment before pressing. “You don’t see much of her then?”

“No,” James says with a laugh conveying that Teddy’s assumption is clearly an understatement, “we had it out pretty badly a few years ago. The family all concluded that I was “being unfair.” He finishes, throwing dramatic air quotes in for effect.

“Because of me?” Teddy asks.

James doesn’t answer at first, twisting his mouth to the side in a way that has him looking so vulnerable and young. Teddy can see a flash of the James he knew and it has him feeling entirely wrong-footed considering his earlier thoughts. “It just hurt when people gave up,” James answers quietly.

Swallowing hard, Teddy eyes James for a minute – it’s clear he never gave up on Teddy. Six years that were supposed to be filled with childish pranks were instead spent taking care of Gran and fighting on his behalf. James Potter, his great protector. Without a thought, Teddy reaches out and pulls James into a tight hug, burying his face in the younger man’s curls as James returns the embrace just as fiercely. 

Too soon, James pulls away. “Hugs or not,” he says, “I’m still pissed you didn’t tell me you were bi.”

Teddy laughs easily. “Jamie, you were a literal child the last time we had a heart to heart!”

“Yeah, but –“ James starts as Teddy moves to take a step, letting out an undignified squeal as his legs give out underneath him. Before he hits the ground, James is there with speed that would rival a top seeker. One hand underneath his arm, the other wrapped tightly around Teddy’s waist, he catches him with ease, hoisting him up against his side. 

“Fuck,” Teddy sighs defeatedly, “I’m never leaving, am I?”

James laughs. “Oh the drama!” he exclaims. “Your legs didn’t bear weight for six years, Teds. Give yourself some credit.”

He loops Teddy’s arm around his shoulders, half-dragging, half-carrying him back to his room. Teddy’s sure that keeping him standing is just to preserve what is left of his dignity. It would be a better weight distribution on James’s back if he lifted him like a blushing bride on her wedding day. Teddy has no doubt that he could do it with ease too because,  _ Godric _ , the man is strong.

By the time they re-enter his room, Teddy knows he’s dead weight and is grateful that James still manages to set him down gingerly despite this fact. He stoops and lifts Teddy’s legs onto the bed, pivoting him in the process and then reaches down to start working on his laces.

“I can do that,” Teddy starts as he makes a feeble attempt to reach for his shoes. 

James levels him with an unimpressed look and Teddy wilts back into the pillows. “You should have told me when you started to get tired, you know? There’s a fine line between pushing yourself and hurting yourself and you need to be more mindful. If you injure yourself you’re just going to be here longer. Got it?”

Teddy lets out a defeated sigh. “Got it.”

James just smiles at him for a moment – a fond smile that Teddy struggles to look away from — before reaching out and scooting Teddy’s body over in the bed. 

“What are you doing?” Teddy asks.

“Trying to get you to budge over,” James laughs. “I don’t have to be back for another half an hour.”

Teddy pathetically attempts to assist in the budging but luckily James quickly makes enough room for himself, climbing into Teddy’s bed and removing his own shoes. When he is settled comfortably into his spot, he takes his wand and sets an alarm, Teddy eyeing him all the while.

“You’re really good at this, you know?”

“Hmm?”

“Being a healer,” Teddy clarifies.

“You know I don’t snuggle in all my patients’ beds?” James deadpans.

Teddy lets out a laugh, even as his face heats at the thought of snuggling with James. “Don’t be an arse! And don’t deny that you wouldn’t curl up in that old woman’s bed, if she asked. You know the one, your second favourite patient?”

“Adelia?” James laughs, “You clearly don’t know her! She has most certainly asked me to do more than snuggle in her bed. Don’t change the subject though. We were discussing how I’m the best healer you’ve ever met.”

Teddy rolls his eyes. “You’re so modest,” he says, sarcastically. “Anyway, I just wouldn’t have guessed you’d be a healer – and yes, you prat, especially such a good one. I thought you’d be a quidditch player or something equally as obnoxious.” 

James makes his best attempt to look Teddy squarely in the face – a challenge since they’re side by side. “Obnoxious?” he asks, irritably.

“Umm, yes,” Teddy says. “You were a skinny, obnoxious prat – not the wise, overachiever I have before me today.”

James, clearly satisfied with the turn in conversation, returns to lying with his eyes closed. “I wouldn’t say overachiever.”

“Ha!” Teddy barks, “I was almost exactly your age when I – “ he stops, at a loss for how to describe his coma without killing the playful mood.

“Slipped into a princess-like eternal slumber?” James offers.

“Yes,” Teddy laughs. “That. And I was nowhere near as established as you are.” 

“Okay, says Mr. Head Boy,” James counters.

“Oh? You weren’t head boy then I take it?”

“No… I was.” James concedes. 

“See?” Teddy announces victoriously, “I rest my case.”

They’re quiet for a moment, Teddy’s mind starting to exist in that space between sleep and awake when James whispers from his side. “You know, I was quidditch captain too?”

As the words settle over Teddy, he makes a retching sound in the back of his throat. “Ugh! Gross! You put Hermione to shame!” he shouts, smacking James with a pillow as they both dissolve into giggles. 

When Albus owled a few days ago with the promise to compile a list of every good film that has come out over the last six years, Teddy realized that he may have been judging him a bit too harshly. In fact, once he is able to get him talking, it becomes apparent that the kid has grown up to be quite awesome. Although Teddy was sad to hear he had suffered, his own ordeal regarding the death of a classmate in his fourth year makes him quite sensitive to Teddy’s current struggles. He still has a tendency to be a bit aloof, but overall, Teddy is thankful for his introverted nature. 

Today he is wrapped in a forest green hoodie, sitting in an uncomfortable chair, sub-categorizing his film list while James tortures Teddy through forced stretching, on the floor. Despite his insistence that his body could  _ never _ stretch in these ways, Healer Monroe has made it clear that his release is on the condition that he’ll continue in home sessions. At least that means he'll be seeing a lot of James, anyway. 

“Oh! This is a good one,” Albus announces as James bends Teddy’s leg back in an uncomfortable position. “Do you like horror?”

Teddy hisses with pain and James apologizes quietly. “I watch it from time to time,” he replies through gritted teeth.

“Well, you have to watch Get Out first,” he says, excitedly. “It’s one of my favourites of all time. You’ll love it!”

James drops Teddy’s leg and turns to look at his brother. “That snooze fest?” he asks.

“You don’t get to have an opinion on it,” Albus asserts. “ _ You  _ fell asleep!”

“Which should tell you everything you need to know about the film,” James insists, looking to Teddy for validation. 

The only response Albus offers is a dramatic eye roll before returning to his work. With a fond shake of his head, James does the same, cupping Teddy’s knee and pushing it back against his chest, his curls cascading against his forehead when he leans forward.

Teddy bites the inside of his cheek to halt the grin that threatens to break across his face. Watching James work has become so familiar, so  _ comforting _ to him, not just the fall of his fringe, but the cluster of freckles that sit on his collar bone and bob in and out of view beneath his shirt; the stretch of the muscles in his neck while he strains; the three freckles that are swallowed whole by his left dimple when he smiles. 

It is only when he meets James's very confused look that Teddy realizes he has failed and a soppy smile is now plastered across his face. “What’s up?” James asks with a laugh.

“Oh,” Teddy replies stupidly, his face heating. “I’m just really glad you two ended up being close.”

The brothers exchange identical skeptical looks, before Albus barks out a sarcastic, “Thanks, mum," and the two laugh at Teddy's expense. 

When they have their fill of the mockery, James pats Teddy's legs. “You excited to go home?” he asks quietly.

Teddy does his best to shrug in the position that he’s in. “I’m excited to not be here anymore." And that's the truth — St. Mungo's is unreasonably depressing — but that doesn't mean he's excited to start the next chapter of his life. He clears his throat and puts a voice to his concerns. "My flat is gone, so... it’ll definitely be a transition.”

James opens his mouth to respond when Gran barges into the room. “Oh look at you!” she says happily, placing a bag on the bed before dropping kisses to the three men’s heads in turn. 

“I’m getting him in tip top shape, Grandy,” James says, as he hoists Teddy to his feet in another impressive display of athleticism. 

“Torturing me, more like,” Teddy jokes, steadying himself on wobbling legs before making his way to the bed.

“Lies," James laughs. "Don’t believe him!” 

Gran chuckles, patting James's cheek. “I would never, love. This reminds me, though, I brought something for when we’re back home,” she reaches into her bag rifling for a moment before making a celebratory sound and wrestling a long object free. 

When Teddy sees what she holds, he opens his mouth to respond and then closes it again - disbelief and embarrassment battling in his mind. Silence stretches through the room for long enough that it’s uncomfortable. “A cane?” he finally asks, accepting the offending object from her hands. 

“He’s walking quite well, you know?" James assures her. "Worked his arse off and exceeded all of our expectations."

At James’s praise, Teddy's chest swells with pride and his eyes find his feet, as he bites back a smile in spite of his shock. When he looks up, Albus is eyeing him curiously, which embarrasses Teddy even more. 

“I know that! And I’m not implying he isn’t doing great," Gran says in a tone patronizing enough to pull his attention. "This would just be the safest way for him to get around when he’s home alone.”

No one says anything.

“Anyway, I saw Healer Monroe out there, I’m going to pester her with a few questions," she says, scurrying from the room. 

Teddy sighs, tossing the cane onto the bed. He doesn't want to be ungrateful, he loves his Gran more than anything, but he's twenty-one -- no,  _ twenty-six _ \-- years old this whole thing is quite humiliating. 

"Okay?" James asks quietly, coming to stand in front of him. 

"Mmhmm," Teddy replies. "Twenty six years old, living with my Gran, no job, no girlfriend, and now...a cane. Life is good.”

“Still could be worse.” Albus says.

“Yeah,” James agrees. “You could be Uncle Percy.” 

They all have a good chuckle before falling silent again. As if a trained majorette, James picks up the cane and spins it with a flourish. He really is disgustingly talented in all things. 

“Why don’t you come live with me?” he asks suddenly.

“James – “ Albus starts in a warning tone that Teddy doesn't quite understand. Sure his Gran might be put off at first if he didn't come home with her, but he's sure she'd come around eventually. And if he can live with anyone successfully, he knows that person is James. He allows himself a brief moment to imagine it — comfortable evenings filled with laughter, quiet mornings with shared breakfasts. As perfect as it sounds, he knows it's asking entirely too much of him. 

“I couldn’t do that,” he finally counters.

“Why not?” James asks. “I have an extra bedroom. And you know I'm here most of the time anyway.” 

The way he says it — like it's the simplest solution in the world — makes him believe that maybe he should go for it despite his reservations. 

“You’re serious?” he asks. 

James nods, his facing breaking into a huge smile. “Well, on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“You hold this cane,” he says, handing him the cane which has been transfigured into an impressive replica of a penis.

The hysterical laugh bubbles out of his chest without his permission, an ugly thing that should have him feeling embarrassed, but by the way James is wiping his eyes, red faced and chortling, he knows he's not alone. Even Albus has joined in, whatever was concerning him apparently forgotten. 

When he regains his composure, he stands bracing himself on James's forearm because he's sure as hell not going to use the cane. “I’d love that, Jamie," he says, sincerely. "Thank you.”

James smiles back at him -- not the overly charming smile that he gives his patients or the mischievous one that he gives everyone else. For some reason Teddy knows this one is just for him -- like they share a beautiful secret. It makes Teddy's heart skip a beat. 

“Okay, that’s all straightened out now," Gran announces, breaking the spell, before she stops dead in the doorway. "Edward Remus Lupin – " she bellows. "What in the seven hells have you done to that cane?”


	2. Chapter 2

"Alright, the boys should be up in a minute with the last of the boxes," Ginny says from an upside down position, adjusting the tie over her wave of red hair. When she rights herself again, her locks fall in a fiery cascade all around her — Teddy has always loved her hair: hair the colour of fire to match her beautiful spirit. 

"Thanks, Ginny." Teddy smiles warmly. "I'm sorry that I couldn't do more to help. 

"Don't be ridiculous! It’s really not a problem, love. We’re so happy to do it," she says, adding a pat to his chest as she passes. "Listen, I really need to get to work. I'm going to just use the floo, if that's okay?"

"Oh," Teddy says momentarily confused as to why she's asking him. Then he remembers that this is his place — that that is his floo — now too. "Oh, yeah, I'm sure that's fine."

She pauses a moment, just staring at him and smiling — a habit that many people have developed around him lately, it’s a bit unsettling, actually — before shaking her head. "Please pass on that I expect all three of you at the burrow this Sunday. Got it?" 

"Yes ma'am,” he says, in spite of the flash of panic he feels at the thought of that many Weasleys in one place so soon after the quiet of the hospital.

"And Teddy," she says, grabbing a handful of powder and stepping into the floo. "Welcome home."

As she disappears in a cloud of smoke, Teddy smiles. The idea of a place that he's never actually been being 'home' should feel ridiculous, but as he takes his moment of solitude to explore, he feels entirely at peace. 

Everything about the flat is so wonderfully Jamie, from the quidditch banners, to the medical texts littered across the table, dirty dishes in the sink, and family photos lining the shelves. He walks over to the mantle and his smile widens. There are countless photographs of various Potters and Weasleys — mostly Albus and Lily — including an adorable one of the three of them when James graduated from healer training. However, it's the frame on the far end of the mantle that most catches his eye. It was probably taken the summer of the attack: he and James sitting on the Potters' couch, clearly having caught a wicked case of the giggles. They are clutching on to each other and laughing with such hysteria that even through the photograph and many years that separates him, Teddy finds it contagious. He only wishes that he could remember what they were laughing about. 

Looking at this photograph and then at the flat around him, it's hard to explain, but for the first time since waking up, he allows himself to feel a sense of hope. Because no matter what has changed — his job, his flat, his girlfriend — he still has  _ this _ , still has James. And right now that feels like enough.

A sudden crack of apparation startles him and he instinctively throws an arm out, nearly knocking several frames from the mantle. 

"Bloody hell! You scared me," he admonishes when his eyes landed on a guilty looking James 

"Sorry," he says sheepishly, setting a box down, at his feet and bending in half to stretch his back. "Where's Mum?"

"Work. And where's Albus?" Teddy asks, noticing the younger man’s absence.

"Oh, he had to take the stairs since he couldn't apparate with the box of potions ingredients." James says casually. 

Teddy almost accepts his explanation without a thought, but after a moment's pause he realizes something. "I didn't have a box of potions ingredients."

"Oh, I know that," James assures him, "but Albus doesn't," he finishes with a wink.

"Ha! You're an arsehole, you know that?" Teddy asks in disbelief. 

James doesn't deny it, flashing a proud, cheeky smile before plopping onto the couch. The sprawl of his limbs encompassing more of the surface than Teddy would have thought possible. "So are you excited to be home?" he inquires.

Teddy looks around, allowing the word 'home' to warm him from the inside out. "Yeah," he nods, "Yeah I really am."

Just then, Albus arrives in the doorway, red faced and breathless, a heavy looking box clutched in his hands. "Next time," he pants, setting the box at his feet, "You're carrying your own potions supplies, Teddy."

Teddy bites his cheek and looks to James who puts a finger to his lips — binding Teddy to an unspoken vow of secrecy. 

"Wait, what was that?" Albus asks suddenly, motioning between Teddy and James. 

"Hmmmm?" Teddy replies, stupidly.

"I saw that!" Albus shouts. "What was  _ this? _ " he asks, frantically mimicking James's silent gesture. 

"I —" Teddy starts, flailing his hands as James unhelpfully dissolves into giggles on the couch. 

Albus's eyes widen comically before he bends and unceremoniously rips open the box, revealing various belts and tshirts; items that are very much  _ not _ potions ingredients. 

"You're a fucking twat," he shouts at James, grabbing a shirt from the box and chuckling it at his brother.

"I'm sorry!" James cackles, falling from the couch, effectively ruining the effect of the apology. "It was just too easy!"

"Why are you like this?" Albus asks, making his way to the floo. 

"Albus!" James shouts, righting himself. "I'm sorry! Don't go!"

"You're annoying and I'm going," Albus shoots back, stepping into the floo.

James makes a pitiful face that Teddy is sure if ever directed his way, would earn James anything he's ever wanted. Albus, on the other hand, is clearly immune — his face setting into a scowl, certainly meant to be menacing but instead landing on constipated. 

"Wait!" James shouts, some seriousness returning to his voice. "Love you."

Albus hesitates, caught in a silent battle with himself, before mumbling, "Love you too," and disappearing before their eyes.

Silence has only a moment to stretch through the flat before James whips around to face him, a wide smile putting his dimples on full display. “Ready to unpack?” he asks, jumping to his feet.

It doesn’t escape Teddy’s attention that the unpacking process would be a much more pleasant experience, if whoever had boxed his belongings in the first place, had applied the slightest bit of consideration to things like labeling or even sorting the boxes based on type. After two boxes containing a mix of pants, photographs, and kitchen supplies, it’s clear that his wand is useless and he is forced to unpack the muggle way. Luckily, James is there to “supervise,” as he puts it. Teddy’s not sure supervising should include so many distraction tactics, but he’s not complaining. 

“Oh my God! I forgot about this shirt!” James shouts, unwrapping an obnoxious, Hawaiin style shirt from the outside of a glass vase. 

Teddy rolls his eyes. “I only had that for a themed party at Mattie’s.”

“Bullshit!” James laughs. “You wore this all the time that summer.”

“It was comfortable!” Teddy defends, rolling his eyes as he unearths a blender from the bottom of the box of shoes.

“I’m not judging, this shirt is glorious.” His face takes on a look of contemplation, before smiling wickedly. “In fact,” he says as he pulls his own shirt off with one hand, “I’ll consider this your first month’s rent.”

Unprepared for his first glimpse of half-naked James, Teddy can feel himself flush from his chest to the tips of his ears. He fumbles with the blender in his hands, desperately trying to rid his mind of the image of James’s small, rose coloured nipples and sculpted abs. He bites the inside of his cheek and turns his attention to pairing shoes because what the hell is wrong with him? He should not be having this reaction to a shirtless James Potter.

“What do you think?” James asks, once the last button is fastened, standing and spreading his arms confidently. “Was I right, or was I right?”

Teddy clears his throat, willing his voice to sound normal. “You were right,” he manages, relieved.

A rush of sound from the floo pulls both men’s attention. “James? Teddy?” a familiar female voice shouts from the living room. 

“We’re in here Hermione,” James shouts and there’s suddenly the distinctive clicking of running heels, before Hermione appears in the doorway.

“Teddy!” she shouts, flinging her arms around his neck in a fierce hug. Teddy wraps his arms around her midsection, returning the hug just as tightly, allowing himself to get lost in her comforting embrace. She hugs like a mum, there really is nothing like it. When she pulls back, she’s visibly emotional. "You have no idea how wonderful it is to see you. James asked us to wait until you were settled but I waited as long as I could!”

When she moves to give James a quick hug, Teddy flashes him a grateful smile over her shoulder which he returns easily.

“What is this God awful shirt, James?” Hermione asks and Teddy can’t help but bark out a laugh at James’s gasp of mock indignation.

“How dare you?” he shouts, playfully. “This shirt is a masterpiece.”

“Oh, okay, whatever you say,” she concedes, swiping the last of the tears from her eyes. “Anyway,” she continues, turning her attention to Teddy. “I figured now that you're home we could talk about transitioning you back to work?"

"Yeah, yes! Absolutely,” Teddy says excitedly. “I was going to floo you to see where we're at with everything." And Teddy feels a weight being lifted off of his shoulders because  _ this  _ is what he needs; normalcy. Living in a comfortable flat with his mate and back fighting the good fight in a job he’s passionate about.

“Before you start discussing legislation, please for the love of Merlin and Morgana, let me leave the room,” James says, stooping and picking up various kitchen appliances, he stops, motioning to his hoard. “Anything that you have a strong attachment to here? Or if there are doubles with my stuff, can I donate them?”

“Donate away!” Teddy says with a laugh. “To be honest, I’m not sure I have ever even used half of that stuff.”

“You had a good excuse, you were so busy working in those days,” Hermione says with a proud smile.

James snorts on his way out of the room. “Yeah, among other things.”

When the door clicks shut behind him, Hermione conjures a comfortable, office chair for her to sit in, as Teddy takes a seat on the bed. "Oh Teddy, you'll be thrilled,” she says, grabbing his hands in both of hers. “The Creatures’ Rights Bill that you were working on passed two years ago, after a lot of blood, sweat, and tears."

Teddy can feel that his mouth has dropped open. The Creatures’ Rights Bill - the one that he spent countless hours researching, and writing, and rewriting, and editing, and editing, and editing — they finally got it to the point where it could be submitted, and they did it, it actually passed. And that’s, well that’s wonderful obviously, that so many beings don’t have to worry about workplace or housing discrimination. There’s something else underneath his shock and excitement though, something that feels remarkably like grief and has him blinking back traitorous tears. 

Hermione smiles at him warmly. “I knew you’d be thrilled,” she says, entirely misinterpreting his reaction, as she hands him a tissue. 

“Right,” Teddy says, wiping his eyes. “That’s amazing, Hermione. Congratulations!”

“Well, it wasn’t just me, of course. You remember Finneas Marchbanks?”

Teddy nods, clearly remembering his biggest workplace rival and his smug smiles. The twat acted as though a family legacy in politics meant that he was predestined for greatness.

“Well, he took point and co-authored the bill,” she says with a smile. “He’s working his way up the Wizarding Exams Authority now, I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes Governor one day.”

“That’s great,” Teddy lies, feeling entirely deflated.

“Anyway, I have to get back but I wanted to bring you over a copy of the bill and some training materials.” She fishes in her bag before handing him a huge stack of papers. “Usually if you leave the training program, you have to start back at first year internship but because of the circumstances, they are allowing you to come back at year three. You’ll only be a bit behind our current class, if you decide to come back now. And you’re a quick study so I’m not worried about it.”

“That’s wonderful, thanks so much Hermione,” he says, smiling weakly.

“Oh course, love! Just let me know where your head’s at about coming back whenever you get the chance.” She drops a kiss to his head and makes her way out of the room.

He’s not sure how long he sits there, staring at the stack of papers in his hands, and wondering where his emotions will fall once the shock finally wears off. But it’s at least a long enough time that James pops in to check on him. “Okay?” he asks, eyeing him curiously.

“Yeah,” Teddy says, giving his head a shake, and dropping the stack of papers to the bed. “Clearly just a lot to look through.” Teddy laughs, motioning to the mountain of papers. 

James isn’t stupid but, to his credit, doesn’t push for more information. “Well, I’m starving, do you maybe want to order some curry? Or we could always make smoothies because it turns out that between the two of us, we own FOUR blenders. Seriously Teddy, four.”

Teddy laughs, feeling his tension melt away for the time being. James has that effect on people. “Let’s go with the curry. I don’t really like smoothies.”

“No one really likes smoothies. They’re just what you have when you want a milkshake but also really need to ingest more fruits and vegetables.” He chuckles, offering a hand to pull Teddy from the bed. “Come on.”

Teddy accepts his outstretched hand, pulling himself to a standing position without even wobbling. There’s no denying the improvement in his physical capabilities. As he follows James to the kitchen, he desperately uses that fact to remind himself that everything is still going to be okay. 

When bedtime finally comes, Teddy is overjoyed at the prospect of an uninterrupted night’s sleep. He thinks he should maybe feel embarrassed about falling into bed at 8:00 pm, but when faced with the promise of a full night’s sleep without invasive, hourly checks from mediwitches, he’s powerless to resist. He strips off his clothes, climbing into bed in only his black, badger pants — he can’t be bothered to try to locate his pajamas — and pulls the stiff duvet up to his chin. Somewhere in the distance he can still hear James pottering around the flat but he’s already drifting, can’t quite focus, already dreaming —

_ The cafe is eerily empty — no snippy waitress or clanking of dishes, no overly boisterous conversations or hum of coffee machines — just Teddy. Teddy in his oversized jumper — the one that used to belong to his dad — sitting at a small table by the door. It looks like it would be sticky but when he places his hand flat against the surface, it feels fine — no, actually it feels like nothing. He shakes his head and tries to make himself enjoy the peace and quiet, even considers pulling out a book to distract himself from this growing sense of wrongness.  _

_ Where is everyone?  _

_ No, don’t think about that. Just read. Does he even have a book? Should he look? He feels scared and he’s finding it increasingly difficult to deny that fact to himself. Maybe he should run. Just when he’s not sure he can take it anymore, a hand on his shoulder startles him. When he looks up and sees strong arms, hazel eyes, and a full toothy smile, he lets out a relieved sigh.  _

_ “Jamie,” he whispers. _

_ James doesn’t say anything, moving his hand to cup the side of Teddy’s face, his thumb stroking in comfortable circles across his cheek bone. Teddy closes his eyes and leans into the touch, so thankful for the comfort. He cups James’s hand with his own and turns, placing a kiss on his soft palm — a thanks, maybe more, it’s hard to tell right now.  _

_ Then James is gone. No, not gone, actually, just sitting across from him now and different. Young. The sounds are back too — the waitress laughing with the table next to them, the sizzling of a grill in the background, the tinkling of the bell above the front door.  _

_ The bell. _

_ He knows this. Something bad is going to happen but he doesn’t quite know what. He just knows that they need to run. He opens his mouth to tell James this, to urge him to safety, but no sound comes out. He tries to scream with everything he has, tries to move, but nothing changes, James just sits there with an easy smile. Then he sees him — the man with the dead eyes. Sees the wand, sees the wand being raised. _

_ He’s powerless to stop it. _

“Teddy, Teddy, TEDDY!”

He opens his eyes and he’s not in the cafe anymore, he knows that much at least.

“It was a nightmare, Teddy,” a voice, James’s voice, assures him. “Just a nightmare.”

Oh. A nightmare. He remembers now. He just moved into James’s flat today. Albus and Ginny helped move his stuff and then he and James unpacked. They unpacked and laughed and then they ate delicious curry. Teddy pretended to be annoyed that James stole his extra naan. It was a good day.

He knows these things to be true but he still can’t convince his body that he’s no longer in danger, that  _ James _ is no longer in danger.

“I can’t –“ he says through sobs. “I CAN'T!”

“You need to ground,” James says, moving on to the bed. HIs cold hand presses against Teddy’s cheek and Teddy grasps it desperately, his anchor through this terrible storm. 

“Can’t breathe!” he chokes out.

“Teddy, look at me,” James says calmly, forcing Teddy to look his way. “You need to ground. Start naming things around the room.”

Teddy only shakes his head rapidly, feeling the cold splash of tears down his cheeks. His chest hurts so badly. Could he die from this?

“You can do it. You have to,” James says, using his other hand to comb through Teddy’s hair.

“Bed,” he manages, that one syllable feeling impossibly heavy on his tongue.

James smiles. “Good. What else?”

“It hurts,” Teddy cries, grasping his chest.

“It’s temporary,” James assures and Teddy believes him, trusts him entirely. “Now what else do you see?”

“Door.”

“Perfect. You’re doing great, Teds.”

“Ceiling,” he says, and it is getting a little easier. 

“Great,” James says with a smile and Teddy can properly see him now, he must’ve stopped crying. “Now add adjectives.”

Teddy nods. “Dresser. Wooden dresser. Red duvet.” He can feel his breathing calming with every word.

“There you go,” James says.

Teddy meets his eyes and is utterly overwhelmed with how beautiful he is.

“Freckles,” he says without thinking. “Beautiful freckles.”

James looks taken aback for a split second before his cocky persona slips firmly back into place. “Damn straight,” he says with a laugh.

Teddy wants to laugh with him but he’s so bloody emotionally exhausted, he can hardly hold himself up. He lets his head drop against James’s shoulder while his breathing calms, letting out a contented sigh as James’s hand begins rubbing his neck lightly.

He’s not sure how long they sit like that but it’s long enough that embarrassment starts to creep its way into his head. “I’m sorry about that,” he says sitting up and straightening the duvet. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. It was a panic attack, nothing you can help. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Teddy says, stifling a yawn.

James chuckles. “Okay, think you can sleep now?”

“Maybe,” Teddy shrugs. “Could you —“ He stops himself abruptly. Even though he wants to, he can’t possibly ask him to stay. It was already above and beyond the call of duty for flatmate and Godbrother that he sacrificed sleep to talk Teddy through a panic attack. 

James eyes him a moment before saving him from his internal crisis, by quietly asking, “You want me to stay?”

Teddy swallows hard, looking anywhere but at James, and nods. 

“Okay,” James says standing up and encouraging Teddy to do the same. “Not in this bed, though. This is a spine breaker. Come on, you can stay in my room.”

“Oh, I see how it is,” Teddy says with a laugh, grateful for the feeling of normalcy. “Give the guest the terrible bed.”

“You're not a guest,” he argues, leading the way to his room. "Besides, maybe I just don't want you sleeping too soundly," he says, climbing into bed and sliding to the side abutting the nightstand. 

Teddy follows suit, already feeling his eyes drifting shut as he settles behind him. "Good night," he says into the dark. 

"Night, Teddy," James whispers only a hair's breadth away and Teddy's startled to find it’s only his exhaustion that stops him from curling into James’s side.

The next morning, Teddy wakes up to the sound of quiet cursing as James attempts to dress in the dim light of the morning sun. He stretches, smiling at the image of the usually graceful James tripping over his work trousers. 

“Good morning,” he says, a smile in his voice.

James flashes him a defeated look. “I’m sorry. I was really trying not to wake you up but I apparently don’t know where anything is in my own flat.”

“It’s fine,” Teddy says, watching as James clasps his watch around his right wrist. “This bed is so comfortable, I may not have gotten out of it if you hadn’t woken me up. You were really holding out on me.”

“Well, you can share my bed any time,” James answers absent-mindedly. 

The statement is clearly a slip of the tongue, an innocent statement that twists in Teddy's brain to put dirty, wrong, hot images in his head that cause him to choke on his own tongue. 

James's eyes widen, clearly having caught on to Teddy's internal panic. “That’s not—I meant—“ he starts, flushing an adorable shade of red. “It’s just, I didn’t sleep alone for a few years after everything happened. The dorms weren’t bad because the beds are so close together but at home I usually stayed with Albus. I’m used to sharing my bed and I understand the nightmares so if it’s easier for you, just stay with me.”

Teddy looks down, feeling increasingly guilty for his inability to control his thoughts. He can't imagine everything James went through after the attack, all the things he had to overcome and all of it without Teddy at his side. And now Teddy is objectifying him even while he's offering a brotherly gesture, same as Albus did for him all those years ago. He needs to remember that this is the same James from childhood, the kid who constantly followed on Teddy's heels, convincing him to act recklessly, even when he knew better. He swallows hard and tries to smile. “I think that’d be great, actually. Thank you, James.”

James smiles back at him. “I have to get to work but don’t forget about the Burrow later. Gran Weasley wants you there a bit early so that she can fawn over you properly. About 5:30?”

“I’ll have to clear my schedule but I’ll see what I can do,” he says with an eye roll. “When will you be there?”

“Around 7. Make sure to save me some treacle tart,” he adds seriously.

“Yes, sir!” Teddy jokes as James turns to leave. “Have a good day!”

“Will do! Oh and Teddy,” he yells over his shoulder, “Nice pants.”

Teddy flushes all over, instinctively pulling the covers to shield the offending garment, even though James is already leaving through the floo. Stupid badger pants, he’d entirely forgotten he was wearing them in the stress of the previous night. 

When the floo sounds fade, Teddy irritably throws the blanket to the side and makes his way to the kitchen. He’s absolutely famished and could go for a proper fry up, searching through various cupboards for supplies. Instead of the stock usual to most adults, he finds only sugar cereals, ketchup, and teas, making it clear that James has reserved his caretaking for other people. 

He shakes his head fondly, writing up a quick list for the shops, keeping it healthy for the most part but including those pastries that he and James used to love when they were kids. Making his way to the bedroom, he throws on a pair of jeans and pulls on a Cannons hoodie that he finds draped over the back of the chair— he doesn't think James would mind much. Especially considering that he'll come home to a fully stocked kitchen. 

It takes a solid hour and a half to navigate the unfamiliar store and another forty five minutes to put everything away with some semblance of order. After cleaning the kitchen, he takes this momentum through the entire living area and eventually the bathroom, surprising himself with the sudden motivation. When he glances at the clock again, he's shocked to see it's already 3:00 — he barely has time for a quick shower before rushing to dinner. 

There's something about the Burrow that is hard to articulate if you've never been there. Harry and he have discussed it at length on many occasions, trying to decipher exactly what it was that made the place so special — whether the food, the people, or the magic in the structure — but they could never fully decide. Simply put, if love were a place, it would feel like the Burrow. 

That feeling is stronger than ever when Teddy lands in the living room, breathing in the strange yet comforting mix of lemons and cinnamon. He makes his way into the kitchen and smiles at the image of his Gran, Harry, and Molly Weasley sitting and chatting at the breakfast bar. Or rather Harry and Gran sit chatting while Molly peels what has to be at least thirty pounds of potatoes. 

"Hi there," he says, pulling all of their attention. 

"Teddy Lupin," Molly shrieks, hopping from the stool and charging at him with open arms. Teddy has to bend in half — he doesn't remember her being  _ quite _ this short — to return the secure hug and lift her off of the ground. 

"How are you, Molly?" he asks, setting her on her feet and smiling down at her. 

She beems up at him with tears in her eyes. "I'm wonderful now! We thought we'd lost you, you know?"

"That's what I hear."

“Sit, sit,” she insists, motioning for Teddy to take her seat. “Are you hungry? I could make you something to hold you over until dinner?”

Teddy chuckles, kissing his Gran on the cheek and giving Harry a quick hug, before taking his seat. “And ruin my appetite for my first Sunday dinner in six years?”

She beams at him, setting a glass of her famous ‘too sweet’ iced tea in front of him, before conjuring another chair and returning to her potatoes.

"So, how's living with James going?" Harry asks him with a pat to his back. 

"Not bad. Well, besides the poor food choices, but I remedied that this afternoon,” he says, taking a sip of the tea and just managing to suppress a grimace. Unfortunately, the look doesn’t not go entirely unnoticed, earning him a cheeky wink from his Gran. 

"Is he taking good care of you?" Molly asks pointedly, using her wand to accentuate her words.

"The best," he replies, honestly. “Not that it’s his job to.”

"Oh of course not!” she says returning to her potatoes. “That boy just has had all that love in his heart and nowhere to put it for a lot of years. I’m sure he’s loving having you there."

“I hope so,” Teddy says, watching as the woman levitates the pot over to the stove, waddling behind it all the way. When she starts her spellwork over the top of the pot, his Gran sits up a bit taller on her stool. 

"That's not the right spell for those potatoes, Molly,” she says.

He and Harry exchange wide eyed looks as Harry tries to subtly nod his head towards the living room. It’s nice to see that most things have stayed the same over the last six years, but the Great Cooking Debates of Molly and Andy, he could live without. 

Molly rolls her eyes, though luckily Teddy thinks he’s the only one who can actually see it. “I’ve been making potatoes for plenty of years, Andy."

"Clearly not correctly,” she snaps, standing up and making her way to the stove. “Here let me show you."

Teddy and Harry take this as their cue and escape to the next room, chuckling and shaking their heads as they take their seats opposite each other on the couch. They sit together in comfortable silence for a few moments. Teddy has always loved this about Harry; how he never feels the need to fill the silences. Teddy had been meaning to ask him something since James helped him through his first panic attack though and It’s apparent now is as good a time as any. 

"Harry, I wanted to ask you —" 

"Anything,” Harry interrupts, sitting at attention.

"Uh,” Teddy stammers, fiddling with his hands. He’s not sure why this is so hard. “I think I need to talk to someone. James doesn't think his mind healer would accept me as a patient but he thought yours might?"

"Oh,” Harry says, surprised. “Oh yeah, definitely. I'll get you the contact information as soon as I get home."

“Thanks,” Teddy says, awkwardly.

Harry rubs the back of his neck, a sure sign that he’s uncomfortable and Teddy feels a flash of embarrassment for being the cause. "I'm really proud of you,” he says unexpectedly. “After everything that happened when I was young, well, I waited so long before talking to someone about it, you know? I thought I was okay, that it was normal after everything I’d been through but I had no idea how anxious and sad I really was. It was a shock to realize how happy I could be.” He takes a swig of his drink before continuing. “I really think you’ll like her — my mind healer, I mean. You know I’ve always said you and I were a lot alike and _ I  _ like her, anyway. I really — I just wish trauma wasn’t another similarity, Teddy, but, what are you going to do?”

Teddy watches him a moment — the tears in his eyes, the fidget of his hands — when something suddenly occurs to him. “You know it wasn’t your fault, right Harry?”

When Harry meets his eyes it’s clear that he knows no such thing. Six years this man, the only father figure Teddy has ever known, has blamed himself for Teddy’s fate. “He was trying to get to me,” Harry chokes out.

“Yeah,” Teddy says, blinking back tears. “Because he is psychotic. He is the only one responsible for what happened to me, Harry.”

As Harry nods his head rapidly, wiping fresh tears that have spilled down his cheeks, Teddy knows that he doesn’t fully believe him. Maybe someday he will. “I really love you, Teddy,” he says, brokenly. 

“I love you too,” he replies, leaning over and pulling Harry into a hug. 

When they pull out of the hug, they both burst into laughter. "Bloody hell," Harry says, wiping his eyes with his shirt, "Sorry about that."

"No," Teddy says with a laugh. "It's good to know you've grown soft in your old age. I'll have to watch what I say." 

"Such a shit," Harry laughs, pushing at his shoulder lightly. 

A squeal from the kitchen and the low sounds of multiple voices, announce the arrival of more family. Teddy inhales sharply, "Here we go," he says. 

"Are you ready for this?" Harry asks, patting him on the back. 

"Not in the slightest."

Teddy is exhausted. The Weasleys are absolutely wonderful but there are just so damn many of them. He's also quickly found that there are two types of Weasleys, the criers and the partiers. After only two hours his shirt is moist with other people's tears and he might be a just little bit pissed from celebratory shots. Teddy is trying to wait for James to arrive before leaving, but he's not sure he'll make it. He really should've left when his Gran did. 

After listening to Hermione lament Ron's attempted kitchen remodel for much too long, he's sitting on the couch contemplating exit strategies from a conversation about Freddie's latest sexual conquest. He's stopped even pretending to listen when the room grows eerily silent. He looks up suddenly to see what the problem is and that's when he sees her. 

Victoire. 

She's standing over him looking like she could burst into tears at any moment, her perfectly silky blonde hair hanging loosely around her face. She's still so beautiful, so perfect, but he's surprised to find that his heart doesn't flip over itself like it once did, when he looks at her. 

"Hi," he says stupidly. 

For a moment, Teddy thinks she might hug him but without warning she asks, "Can we talk in private?"

He only nods, doing his best to stand despite the alcohol, and follows her into the back garden. As soon as the door shuts behind them, she spins on him, the tears already splashing down her cheeks. 

"I'm sure you hate me," she starts, "but I just need you to know that I'm sorry and I'm so happy you are okay."

"I don't hate you," he says after much too long, carefully enunciating each syllable. "Why would I hate you?"

"Because I left you," she sobs and the force of her words causes Teddy's head to spin. 

"Vic, shhhhhh," he says, rubbing her shoulders. "I would never have expected you to sit at my bedside for six years!"

Victoire is openly gaping at him like she can't fully understand the words that are coming out of his mouth. "Really?" she asks in a whisper. 

"Yes," he says, chuckling. "I think we both know that we were nearing the end when it happened, anyway."

"Oh my God," she yells, falling into such hysterics that Teddy thinks he must have said the wrong thing. "That's what I thought! But you weren't there anymore to back me up so all I had was everyone's perception of what we were to each other, you know? And it didn't match the reality I had in my head. I knew we had run our course but everyone kept talking about how cute we were and how we were meant to be," she says with spiteful air quotes. "And I tried, Teddy. I promise I did because I do love you so much but I couldn't be like James. I couldn't be there all the bloody time. It was so fucking depressing just staring at you. Everyone agreed it wasn't good for him either, you know, but he refused to hear it. And then — then he turned around and judged me for not laying down and dying with you, like he was."

A flare of protective anger surges through Teddy at her words. "He didn't lay down and die with me," he says, calmly — too calmly. "He worked hard and became a healer."

"Of course, I know that," she says with a sniffle. "I'm sorry. I just could never make him understand."

Teddy only nods, not trusting himself to speak.

"Oh Teddy, I'm so happy you're okay!" She throws her arms around his neck and buries her face in his chest, adding to the collection of Weasley tears absorbed in his shirt's fabric. He should've guessed that she'd be one of the criers. 

He allows her to sob softly, holding her tightly and stroking her hair in what he hopes is a comforting way, when a crack of apparation startles them both. 

When he first sees James standing there in the garden, his heart flips over itself and he has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling like a loon. He honestly hadn't realized how much he had been missing him throughout the day. He pulls back from Victoire and flashes what he hopes is a normal smile that James does not return. Suddenly, he feels entirely wrong footed, like he has done something very wrong, a child caught sneaking dessert before dinner, or a cheating husband. He feels so stupid, he should've remembered how tense things were between Vic and James.

They stand in an awkward standoff for a few moments before Victoire breaks the silence. "Hello, James."

"Hi, Vic. Sorry," he says awkwardly. "Didn't mean to interrupt," he mumbles before making a beeline for the backdoor. 

"James," Teddy says, almost too late — the alcohol is really doing a number on him — and catches James's arm as he tries to rush past. "Okay?"

"I just had a long day," he says looking at him tiredly. "I'm going to go box up some treacle tart and then head home."

"Okay," Teddy says, not releasing his arm. "You go make your rounds and I'll box it up and we'll go home."

James looks like he's having a silent battle with himself. 

"Okay?" Teddy asks, shaking him slightly. "We can watch the next film on Albus's list."

James smiles then, as if seeing Teddy properly for the first time. "Teddy, are you drunk?" he asks with a laugh. 

"No," he lies, but when James flashes him a disbelieving look he throws his hands up. "Okay, yes! I haven't had alcohol in six years and redheads kept handing me shot glasses!"

James lets out a proper laugh and it causes a warmth to spread through Teddy's chest. He’s so relieved to see him okay, he can't help but smile back at him. 

"Don't lie. You were never great at holding your drink," Victoire claims, and Teddy nearly startles, her presence all but forgotten. 

"She does have a point," James agrees, "Remember when I was eleven and you contacted me on the two way mirror asking me to steal you a sober up potion from Dad's cabinet? You were out and couldn't go back to Grandy's pissed."

"Teddy!" Victoire chastises.

"I would never!" He laughs, stumbling forward and burying his face in James's shoulder. 

"Mmhmmm," James says, patting his head. "Now go get our dessert so we can go home."

"Will do!" he shouts excitedly, turning to face Victoire. "See you soon, Vicky," he says with a wave. 

Unexpectedly, the last few weeks have been a time of discovery for Teddy. He has come to realize that he vastly underestimated the appeal of a muggle film marathon, for one. He now rarely wears trousers, deciding that they are not an article of clothing that need to be worn in the flat, especially not when participating in the aforementioned film marathon. And he most certainly has completely lost his mind, if the way he keeps reacting to James is anything to go by, anyway. 

James is — well he's bloody gorgeous, anyone with half a brain and two eyes can see that plainly. Trouble is, as fit as James is, he's equally as kind, funny, hard working, and talented. And Teddy's traitorous brain keeps confusing little Jamie Potter with someone who he could actually snog someday. It's quite alarming. 

He knows that he needs to go on a date, maybe even shag someone to get these thoughts under control, but that would involve leaving the flat which seems like a terrible idea. A steady stream of owls keep arriving with invites from old friends but the idea of going to dinner with any of them seems much too exhausting. So instead of replying, he has been shuffling to the kitchen a hundred times a day, ignoring the mind healer's name affixed to the front of the refrigerator as he makes a snack, and then shuffling back to the living room where he uses Hermione's training material as a coaster. 

He's sprawled on the sofa, halfway through a very strange film about a man who wants to be a lobster, when the floo sounds announcing James's arrival.

"Hey!" Teddy shouts, not bothering to sit up. "Welcome home."

James doesn't answer at first, just standing there and staring at Teddy for a moment before moving purposefully into the room, as if a decision has been made. “Alright that’s it,” he says before switching the telly off.

“I was watching that!” Teddy whines, reaching for the remote. 

James moves it out of his reach, completely unaffected by Teddy's pleas. "Get dressed," he barks. "We’re going out.”

Teddy stops struggling and makes an overly repulsed face, hoping to pull a laugh from James and he's not left disappointed. "It's a Thursday," he reasons. "And I'm not even dressed. And also, I don't want to."

James gives him a sympathetic smile. "You not wanting to is kind of the problem, Teddy," he says kindly. "Now, I'm sorry but you're going."

"Ugh," he sighs, falling back against the couch, dramatically. He reckons James is probably right. "Fine."

After the decision has been made, it takes another full hour for Teddy to get ready. In truth, he is half hoping the delay will cause James to change his mind, but it doesn't seem like he'll be that lucky. 

"Do people even still dress like this?" He asks self consciously tugging at his forest green button down when he comes out of the room. "Do I look like a twenty-six year old trying to dress like a twenty-one year old?"

When James only laughs, Teddy grabs his arm to properly get his attention. "Honestly, Jamie, do I look ridiculous?”

James gives him a once over, an unfamiliar look in his eyes. "Definitely not," he says, "I think you look hot.”

Teddy feels his cheeks heat but there's no denying that the praise feels good falling from James's lips — too good — and that's part of the problem. James says these things so flippantly, like he'd never believe they'd have an effect on Teddy. That thought alone fills him with guilt. 

"You ready to go?" James asks with a smile that Teddy can't help returning. 

"Lead the way."

When James suggested going out, Teddy thought they'd be popping into one of the local pubs, or to the Italian restaurant down the street with the bar in the back. That's why he's more than a little bit surprised when they arrive at a muggle club, and not just any club, a  _ gay _ club.

"Come here often?" Teddy teases, bumping his shoulder against James as they enter the building. 

"Not anymore," he replies, weaving his way to the bar and signaling for two drinks. "When Max and I first broke up, this place provided a necessary distraction, though," he says, handing Teddy a drink. "Freddie and I clocked a fair number of hours here."

"Is Fred gay?" Teddy asks, surprised.

James chuckles. "Not in the slightest. Look around," he prompts, pointing to various groups of people. "For every three gay guys here, there's a straight woman who 'just wants to dance.' I leave here alone a lot more often than Fred does."

"I'm impressed," Teddy admits. 

"So," James says, finishing off his drink and turning to face Teddy, "This is a part of you that I wasn't privy to before the attack. What kind of guy are you? Do you like to dance? Are you more of a 'lean against the bar mysteriously' guy?"

Teddy chokes on his drink. "I'm the 'get pissed and hang out with my mates' guy."

"That, we can do! Bartender, we're going to need shots!" he shouts down the bar. 

After a few hours, Teddy is pleasantly intoxicated and he'd be willing to guess that James is even more so. Their conversation flows easily all night even when battling with the steady pounding of the bass. He knows that he didn't want to come out in the first place, but it would be a lie if he says that this isn't fun. 

"So what's your type?" James asks much too loudly.

_ You _ , Teddy mind supplies unhelpfully, as he tries hard not to fixate on James's muscles bulging through his thin, blue t-shirt. He somehow manages to avoid saying anything stupid aloud. "I don't know," he says with a shrug, "I don't think I have a set type."

"Well how about this guy who has been eye fucking you all night?" he asks, gesturing to Teddy's right. 

He follows James's line of vision and is startled to see a sexy specimen of a man looking back at him. He's maybe thirty with dirty blonde hair and a fit build. When the man winks at him, Teddy flushes and attempts to hide his reaction in his drink. To his credit, James pretends he doesn't notice Teddy's very uncool reaction. "He's hot," he mumbles stupidly, finishing his own drink. 

Teddy is about to suggest hitting the dance floor — and, okay, he's at  _ that _ level of drunk now — when warm hands snake around his waist. He turns abruptly to see the sexy man no longer safely across the room but very much crowding Teddy's personal space.

"Woah," he says without thinking, motioning to James. "I'm his."

"Oh!" The man exclaims, retracting his hands as if burned. "I'm sorry! I just got the wrong impression. You two are beautiful together."

Teddy looks to James who is clearly struggling to school his features into anything but complete shock. 

"Don't worry about it," Teddy says with a smile. "No harm done."

The man smiles awkwardly before turning on his heels and scurrying away. 

When he's out of ear shot, James leans in close. "You know you can pull tonight if you want?" he asks. 

Teddy shrugs. "Yeah, but I don't want to. I just kind of want to hang out with you,” he says feeling suddenly vulnerable. "Is that okay?" 

James exhales softly and he's so close that his breath brushes Teddy's cheek, causing a shiver to run through him. A warm, private smile spreads across James's face. "More than," he says quietly before jumping to his feet, his entire demeanor changing in an instant. "I'm going to be dancing, though, so if you want to hang out with me…" he finishes, holding his hand out to Teddy. 

Teddy smiles mischievously before accepting the offer and making his way to the dance floor with James, hand in hand. 

Considering the club is muggle and has no floo connection, they maybe should have stayed sober enough to apparate. As it stands, he and James have no choice but to stumble the three miles home. He knows the knight bus exists, but the Potters won’t go near it. Not after a story suspiciously ran in the prophet detailing Albus's ‘underage drinking problem,’ the morning after he took the knight bus.

Teddy doesn't mind the walk anyway. The night is unseasonably warm, his legs stronger than ever, and the company wonderful. 

"So, do you want to talk about it?" James asks suddenly, breaking into his thoughts. 

A flash of panic explodes in his chest at the idea that James must have picked up on some of Teddy's more confusing thoughts. He stammers embarrassingly. 

"About how down you've been feeling?" James clarifies. 

Teddy lets out a long exhale, relieved at the topic choice. He lifts one shoulder in a halfhearted shrug. "There's not really anything to talk about. I just need to get over it."

James catches his arm and pulls him to a halt. "You don't have to be okay about this, you know? It’s okay to feel sad or even just really angry. I had a lot of years feeling angry and denying that that's how I felt. Trust me that you need to acknowledge it in order to let it go."

Teddy's eyes find the ground, the toe of his shoe rolling over a stray pebble I'm the path. "I am angry," he mumbles. 

"What's that?" James asks mockingly. "You don't sound angry."

Teddy's breaths are coming out faster now, the alcohol and James's encouragement making it hard for him to suppress these negative emotions anymore. "I'm angry!" He says, louder this time. "I’m  _ so _ fucking angry, Jamie."

"And that's okay."

"No. It's not fucking okay," Teddy shouts, his emotions building. "I had everything stolen from me. I knew who I was before. Even though I knew Vic and I weren't forever, I at least knew that we'd always be special to each other. Now those memories are laced with this bitter feeling. And my fucking creature's rights bill! I worked so hard for that," he cries. "I wanted to name it after my dad, you know? In his memory but now I'm supposed to work on another project that I don't give a shit about. And my friends are all married now and I didn't get to see them fall in love or celebrate with them? And you! I’m so fucking angry that I didn’t get to see you grow up. Because I  _ know _ we would’ve been like brothers if I hadn’t missed everything."

James doesn't say anything at first, just letting Teddy work through his emotions and calm his breathing on his own. 

When he finally speaks, it's barely a whisper. “I know it’s different and some of that stuff is terrible and you'll have to mourn it in your own time. But,” he says taking a purposeful step into Teddy's personal space, “Maybe not everything is worse like this. Maybe some of those things are even better this way, without that familiarity.”

Teddy’s heart rate increases as his mind processes that James is only a few inches away. His eyes drop to James's lips without his permission, earning him a dizzying smile. He knows they're drunk, that allowing James to flirt with him — if that is what he's doing — is a terrible idea in this state. With more willpower than he knew he had, he takes a step back and looks anywhere but at James. “Maybe,” he says quietly, and then because he can't help it, meets James's eyes before swallowing and saying surely this time, "Probably."


	3. Chapter 3

Teddy likes to think that he's been doing quite well these last few months. For one, he has started seeing Harry’s healer, Marjorie, an eccentric witch who reminds Teddy of a slightly more sane Luna. She's nice enough and she doesn't push about the things Teddy isn't ready to talk about — including his inappropriate and ever-growing feelings for his Godbrother. 

Everyone seems to have moved on from his miraculous recovery; his shirt thankfully staying dry and his mind sober during Sunday dinners. 

He still loves muggle film marathons but now he has to save them for the weekend since his week days are filled with work. Very mundane, mind-numbing work but he supposes that it's fine, and the people aren't completely terrible. 

Today is thankfully Saturday so he's had a proper lie in before heading to the living room. When he rounds the corner, he nearly chokes on his tongue, because standing in the center of the room shirtless and sweaty is James in all his glory. He's holding some sort of sphere shaped tool that he keeps thrusting above his head and grunting in a way that should be illegal. 

Teddy keeps standing and staring, willing himself to move when James looks his way, a knowing smile on his face. 

"Oh hey!" he says a bit breathlessly. "Sleep well?"

"Oh, yeah. It was fine," Teddy says, trying to focus on anything but the fact that James looks like some sort of sex god. "Don't you think you're taking this whole 'fit healer' thing a bit too far?"

James snorts but even that sound doesn't detract from how sexy he looks. "Sorry, the gym at work is closed for decontamination since that mediwitch came down with dragon pox. You could join me, you know?"

“Why would I do that?" Teddy asks with an air of confidence that he doesn't have. "I can look good without even trying.” And with a bit of concentration he morphs his lithe frame into a muscular one, rivaling a top body builder, thankful that he has full control over his powers again. 

James cackles. "Fuck off, I was thinking to help gain back the last of your muscle tone. We still need to get you back to riding a broom."

Teddy screws his face to the side as if deciding. "Maybe," he finally says, plopping onto the couch. 

"Liar," James says with a laugh and then more sincere. "And I really did mean for muscle tone. I think your body is perfect the way it is."

Teddy feels his face heat up and he's sure his hair colour is flickering rapidly. No one has ever called him perfect before. His stomach is soft and that's not a fact that he can blame on the coma. He has never particularly taken to working out. The way James looks at him though, Teddy believes he wouldn't change a thing about him. 

"Speaking of your powers," James continues, in a voice that says he's about to broach something more serious. "We need to talk."

Teddy feels suddenly nervous. "What is it?"

James casually goes about cleaning up his workout equipment as he speaks. "Did you know that when you’re in coma — sorry, enchanted slumber — that your body resorts to its original form?"

And Teddy suddenly knows exactly what he's getting at. "Mmm, you don’t say?" he says innocently. 

"I do," James replies with a smile that says he has Teddy right where he wants him.

"And?" Teddy asks. 

"And," James says, walking directly up to Teddy, "You’ve been magicking yourself a new nose for years, you little shit," he says, flicking Teddy on the nose and standing upright.

Teddy starts laughing and falls to the side, reaching up to touch his nose. "It’s crooked," he defends. 

"It’s yours!" James counters. "Leave it, Teds."

Teddy rolls his eyes but complies, allowing his nose to morph into its natural form. "Good," James says smugly. "Now, how about you make me a fry up? Working out always makes me hungry."

Saturday fry ups aren't the only aspect of their lives that have fallen into a comfortable, domestic routine lately. Even though Teddy is working now, he's little more than a glorified intern, so he's home promptly at five, cooking a proper dinner. Even if James isn't there to eat with him each night, he's always very appreciative of the home cooked meal whenever he does get home. His lighthearted laugh and beautiful smile brightening Teddy's day no matter what the time. 

Today, Teddy is counting down the minutes until James's arrival while failing miserably at his souffle attempt. He doesn't know why he thought it was a good idea to make something quite so complicated for Mattie's dinner party. Maybe it is just that the term 'dinner party' sounds so formal and mature — he didn't want to make a fool of himself, especially considering that the last meal he shared with Mattie was cold pizza after a night of partying. He's deciding where best to pick up an emergency dessert when the sound of the floo announces James's arrival. 

"Hey!" he shouts from the kitchen."I completely botched this dessert so we're going to have to swing by somewhere to pick something up. Maybe Fortescues? James?"

When he's met when only silence, he walks uneasily onto the living room, stumbling upon James sitting in the overstuffed armchair, head in his hands.

"Jamie! What's wrong?" he asks, concerned. 

"Sorry," James apologizes, lifting his face to reveal tear stained cheeks. "I just — it's just — Adelia died today."

Adelia — James's favourite patient — a fiesty, old woman who unashamedly hit on all the healers.

"Oh Jamie — I thought she was doing so well?"

“She was!" James says, holding his hands out as if he can't quite make sense of it all. "But then she had another stroke and — FUCK — I told her she'd make it to her granddaughter's wedding.” James says as his resolve crumples, folding in on himself while his body is wracked with sobs.

“Hey, I’m here," Teddy soothes, falling into the small space at his side, and enveloping him in a hug. "It’s okay.” 

James wraps his own arms around Teddy's midsection and buries his face in his chest. Teddy kisses his hair softly and rubs his back, hoping that he's managing to give James even a fraction of the comfort that he gives Teddy when their roles are reversed.

After a few minutes, James pulls out of the hug and roughly scrubs his hands down his face, making a sound of frustration. “This is why I switched departments for my day to day residency," he announces. "I’m not good at this. I need to see my patients getting better.” James meets his eyes, more himself but the pain still apparent. "She really was awesome."

"I know," Teddy says softly. "And you were awesome with her. Are you sure you want to go tonight? I could just run out and grab the ice cream. We could eat that for dinner and watch some truly terrible television?"

"Ooooooh, nice try!"

“What?” Teddy asks innocently. 

“What?" James asks, trying for a playfully exacerbated tone and just missing the mark due to the tears. "You’re trying to use my emotional turmoil to get you out of this dinner party!”

“I wasn’t!”

James only pinches his side in response, earning him a yelp and a smack to the arm. 

“It just so happens that our interests were aligned. Alright?" Teddy concedes. 

“Oh is that right?” James asks, a smile in his voice. 

"Yes," Teddy insists. "Now go shower. If you're demanding that we go, then we're not being late."

The moment they knock at Nidhi and Mattie’s house, it is apparent that something is amiss — the muffled voices coming through the door sounding more than a little bit distressed.

“You were supposed to tell them.”

“No! You distinctly said that you were going to floo and tell them.”

Teddy and James exchange concerned looks before the door is wrenched up, revealing a very disheveled looking Nidhi — her hair piled haphazardly upon her head with an infant perched on her hip. 

“Hi,” she says defeatedly. “Mattie was supposed to floo and cancel. We can’t seem to get Sraddha to sleep.” Mattie appears over her shoulder looking quite put out about the accusation — lifting his arm in a halfhearted wave.

“What are her symptoms?” James asks, reaching and allowing the baby’s little, chubby hand to close around his finger.

Nidhi laughs. “Oh she’s completely fine save for being a bit of a shit right now. It’s a sleep regression. When we made these plans she had been going to sleep religiously at seven. Of course this is the week that that changes!”

“What’s the problem then?” Teddy asks, surprising himself as much as James, considering how much he’d wanted to stay home today. “We don’t mind if she hangs out with us as long as you don’t.”

Nidhi and Mattie both exchange dumbfounded looks, as if they couldn’t believe that people without children would be okay spending time with one. 

“Yeah!” James agrees enthusiastically. “We can have a dinner party of five!”

Mattie scrunches up his nose. “Well, that’s going to be a problem. We were a bit too overwhelmed and didn’t actually get around to making the actual dinner.”

Teddy snorts a laugh, before lifting the bag in his hand. “Well then it looks like an ice cream party of five!”

Nidhi lets out a relieved sigh. “You’re sure?”

“Absolutely,” James says, reaching out and grabbing baby Sraddha from her arms.

“I’m Teddy, by the way,” Teddy says, extending his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Are you kidding?” she replies, batting his hand away and pulling him into a hug. “With as much as my husband and James love you, I feel like we’re already family.”

Watching James interact with baby Sraddha, it turns out, stokes something inside of Teddy that he didn't know was there. The way James's sing song lilt to his voice makes her smile, his muscular arms wrapped delicately around her tiny frame — Teddy loves it. In fact, he's enjoying it so much that he's genuinely disappointed when Nidhi reads the rub of her tiny baby eyes as her chance to get Sraddha to sleep, and whisks her off to the bedroom. 

"Why aren't you in the children's ward?" Mattie inquires. 

"I thought about it," James says, repositioning on the couch. "Honestly though, I'm even bad at losing elderly patients, I'm not sure I'd recover from a pediatric loss."

Teddy catches James's eyes, smiling sadly and reaching over to squeeze his leg once. 

"James," Nidhi whispers, appearing suddenly enough that they all jump. "Sorry!"

They all chuckle at themselves. 

"Is she asleep?" Mattie asks and when Nidhi nods, he stands up and performs a silent victory dance. 

Nidhi shakes her head fondly before returning her attention to James. "Anyway, I just remembered that conversation that we had about the spell combination that I use for night time calming —"

"Oh right," James says much too excitedly for a discussion about spell work. "For the emergency department rooms!"

"Right!" Nidhi says, nodding eagerly. "Come back and I'll talk you through them."

James practically leaps off the couch and follows her out of the room. Teddy can't help but smile after them. 

"So what's going on there?" Mattie asks abruptly.

Teddy scrunches his face up in a way that he hopes conveys his confusion. 

"With you and James," he clarifies and Teddy’s stomach rolls unpleasantly at the implication.

"What do you mean?" 

Mattie offers him a very unimpressed look. "Teddy," he says in a tone that makes it clear he's seeing through his bullshit. "I may have changed in the six years you were asleep, but you haven't changed at all. I know that look."

Teddy screws his mouth to the side and shrugs, torn between how much he wants to discuss this with someone and embarrassed that this is even a conversation which needs having. 

"I didn't even know you were bent?" Mattie says with an air of surprise but no malice. 

Teddy shrugs. "There wasn't a reason for you to know."

"So you and James then?" 

"We're not together," Teddy clarifies.

Mattie nods, a look of pontification on his face. "But you want to be?" he muses.

"No?" Teddy whispers before scrunching his eyes shut. "I don't know. Maybe."

“Hmmm," Mattie teases. "Who would have thought? Ickle James Potter.” 

Teddy flashes him a withering look. “Please don't call him that!” he pleads, dropping his head back against the sofa. 

"This is really bothering you?” Mattie asks after what feels like forever, putting down his drink and leaning forward, a sure sign that he's in 'bro mode,' as they used to call it. 

“I'm just — it's just — it's fucking confusing isn't it?”

“Mate, I’m sorry but what's confusing about it?” he asks. “James is bloody great. He's one of Nidhi's favorite people.”

When Teddy offers him nothing more than a weak smile, Mattie continues, “Is it the Godbrother thing?”

Teddy lets out a humourless laugh. “Yeah, Mattie. It’s the ‘Godbrother thing’, and the ‘I have vivid memories of holding him when he was an infant’ thing, and the ‘Harry and Ginny will kill me’ thing, and the ‘I’m six bloody years older than him’ thing,” Teddy finishes, his breath coming out ragged.

There’s a moment of silence before Mattie starts laughing, not a chuckle but a full belly laugh and it’s at Teddy’s expense. Teddy feels murderous. “Enjoying yourself?” he spits.

Mattie wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he gains his composure. “I am actually, yeah. Thanks for asking. Honestly, it’s refreshing to see you like this. All those times that I was lovesick through school and you were cool as a cucumber about every bird — not even Vicky had you this worked up. But here we are and James bloody Potter has you pining and fretting like a schoolgirl.”

“That’s not — “

“Here’s how I see it,” Mattie interrupts. “The age gap means nothing now, does it? You have no more life experience than him anymore. Might some people think it’s weird that you want to shag your Godbrother? Most definitely. But not the people who matter, Teddy. Not the people who love you two. Besides,” he continues, falling back into a more comfortable position, “It makes sense in a way.”

“Oh yeah? How’s that?”

“You were always obsessed with him,” he says, matter-of-factly.

An incredulous sound escapes the back of Teddy’s throat. “Mattie! What the fuck! I. Was. Not. He was fourteen for Circe’s sake!”

“Woah! Relax!” Mattie says, his hands coming up in a placating gesture. “I didn't mean like  _ that _ ! Gross. You just always wanted him around.” 

Teddy's instinct is to argue but a single look from Mattie has him clamping his mouth shut, because if he’s being honest with himself, Mattie’s assessment is true. Even when James was a first year, Teddy always tried to convince his mates to be nice to him, to let him tag along. Of course it didn't hurt his argument that James had a biting wit, even at that age. 

“Well I  _ thought _ we were like brothers," he finally mumbles. 

“Nah, you had that bit wrong,” Mattie says. “Trust me, I have a brother, no brothers like each other that much.” 

"Come here," Mattie says kindly, joining him on the couch with outstretched arms. "You need to get out of your head with this. It's okay."

Teddy suffers the quick embrace before putting voice to another objection. "I don't even know if he —"

"Don’t even finish that thought," Mattie laughs. "It’s clear the kid is head over heels for you."

Teddy flinches slightly at the wording but finds the sentiment appealing. “You really think so?”

“Of course, you’re his hero, after all.”

Just then James and Nidhi arrive with Sraddha in tow.

"Oh no!" Mattie cries. "What happened?"

"I took the spell down for twenty seconds," Nidhi exclaims with a mock cry that sounds like it could turn real at any moment. 

When their eyes meet, James nods his head towards the door, a silent question that Teddy answers with a nod of his own. 

"We're going to head out and let you get her situated," James says with a kiss to Nidhi's cheek. 

"Thank you so much for coming!" Nidhi exclaims. 

"Definitely," Mattie concurs. He pulls Teddy into a hug, dropping his voice for only Teddy's ears. "Everything is going to be okay, yeah?"

"Yeah," Teddy whispers in spite of his growing anxiety. 

Back at the flat, he and James go through the motions of their nightly routine, before pulling back the covers, crawling into bed, and turning off the lights. He’s sure he shouldn’t still be sleeping in James’s bed but having someone to wake him up if he’s having a nightmare or having a healer close by in case his health declines is comforting. Plus it's James so he reckons he's powerless to resist anyway. 

"Did you have fun?" James asks quietly. 

"I did!" Teddy replies to the darkness, surprising himself with how much he means it. "I think Mattie and I are still friends. He hasn't changed all that much."

Teddy’s eyes have adjusted enough to just make out a smile creeping onto James's features. "That makes me really happy."

"How about you?" he asks. "You think you can sleep?" 

"Yeah," James yawns. "I'm knackered actually."

Teddy smiles, shoving James playfully in the shoulder. "Well then, stop talking to me and go to sleep already."

James catches his hand and entwines their fingers and Teddy forgets how to breathe. The moment is charged in a way that leaves a trail of gooseflesh across his warm skin. They lay still, both waiting for the other one to move — to speak— to do  _ something _ , what Teddy's not sure. Or maybe he is but he's not quite ready to be. Just when he can't take it anymore, James gives his hand a hard squeeze before releasing him and rolling to his side. "Goodnight Teddy." 

Long after James falls asleep, Teddy lies awake staring at a stray smudge of blue paint that found its way onto the white ceiling. The handy work of Albus or Harry, he’s sure — they’re both pants at household spells. He flips to the side and stares at James's body — the rise and fall of the man's chest making it clear he's lost in a dream. Teddy's hand moves without his permission, ghosting down James's freckled back. He wants him so badly that looking at him has become physically painful.

The urge to shake him awake and confess everything is strong but he manages to resist. Something Mattie said that won’t stop playing on a loop inside his head, holding him back. 

“ _ You’re his hero _ .” 

His hero. Could that be all this is to James? Some confused hero worship and nothing more? Is Teddy alone in how hard he's falling? 

They never mention those moments — the ones where lines blur enough to make the relationship unrecognizable compared with what it once was — but Teddy can feel it. Every interaction is laced with things left unsaid. Breakfasts with touches lingering too long. Evenings spent together instead of on dates. Nights at the club where they never try to pull. Conversations with an intimacy that Teddy has never experienced. 

Every time he makes the decision to broach the subject and find out where James's head is at, something happens. Albus floos over, Harry owls, or something triggers a memory of a childhood together — small reminders of what they're supposed to be. What they  _ would _ be if six years had not been stolen from them. 

So they continue existing in the space between mates and something more, never quite admitting what they mean to each other. A strange dance that Teddy feels is becoming more and more obvious to those around them, if the strange way Freddie keeps eyeing them is any indication. 

It really isn't Teddy's fault. In fact, if anyone is to blame, it's James. James who, after working 36 hours straight — and fifteen hours of sleep, insists on going to the club and getting absolutely bladdered. Technically speaking, Teddy and Fred don't  _ have _ to join him on that quest, but here they are anyway; stumbling and giddy, all obnoxious laughter and wandering hands. 

When Fred scurries off to God knows where, Teddy's glad to be rid of the last of his conscience. With every drink, his hands grow bolder. Pulling James to him by the hips, grabbing the tuft of hair at the back of his neck when Teddy leans in to whisper. He watches, like an outer body experience, helpless to stop this version of himself from taking what he wants.

James does nothing to stop him, even encouraging the behavior. Each touch opening a channel between them that doesn't feel like it could ever be closed again. 

When they tire of dancing, they slide into a sticky booth at the back of the club. Teddy would usually drop a subtle cleaning charm to the surface, but right now he couldn't be arsed. Especially not when James slides in next to him, impossibly close. He drops his hand into the minuscule space between them, palm up — as if James being the one who makes the decision to touch him absolves Teddy of all sin. James doesn't disappoint, anyway, the nails of two fingers scratching lightly over Teddy's palm - back and forth, leaving a trail of sparks in their wake. He has never considered the palm of his hand a particularly erogenous zone but this is definitely working for him. 

Just then Freddie falls into the booth, staring at them both seriously, or at least Teddy assumes he's staring at them, his eyes won't focus properly. 

"Listen mates, I have a dilemma," Fred sighs and Teddy tries to give him his full attention. He  _ really _ does, but James's nails keep scratching back and forth, and he's half hard now just from that. 

"That bird over there," Fred continues, motioning to a curvy blonde at the end of the bar. "She wants to take me home and suck me off. But I, being the good mate and cousin that I am, don't know how much I should be stepping in over this." He motions between the two of them and Teddy tries to stomp down a flash of embarrassment, pulling his hand into his own lap. He didn't think Fred would be able to see that from his angle. 

"So this is what I need from you," he states, all business, "I need you both to recite the alphabet backwards and then verbally acknowledge that I take no responsibility for any repercussions that arise."

"I'm not singing the fucking alphabet," Teddy bites.

"So aggressive!" Freddie cries, all mock outrage, as Teddy flips him off. 

“Freddie you're fine," James says, ever the diplomat. "We're fine. I'm planning to go home right after this drink anyway."

Freddie scoffs. "Yeah, that's part of the concern there, Jamie."

Teddy pointedly pretends he didn't hear him, knowing that acknowledging the implications of his words will break the spell. There's nothing Teddy wants less. 

James laughs good humouredly. "Go have sex, Fred. You're not responsible for us. Promise. Okay?"

"There's a lad!" Freddie shouts, smacking James on the back and scampering away, a fresh bounce in his step. 

James doesn't touch him again but the way he's looking at Teddy makes him feel completely delved into. "Want to head home?" he asks, without the slightest hint of expectations. 

The combination of that heated look and James's gentle and understanding demeanor has Teddy's cock giving a twitch in his pants. He nods rapidly, swallowing around his suddenly thick tongue. 

When they exit the club, the cool night air hits Teddy in a blast, like a sobering charm — an unsuccessful sobering charm, in this case. The two men first attempt to navigate the three mile walk home, but after the first mile, when it's clear that they're much too drunk, they swallow their pride and call for the knight bus. 

Unfortunately they arrive back at the flat over an hour later — the delay courtesy of three drunk witches who kept changing their destination. Standing in the dim living room, Teddy is feeling much more tired and less randy than back at the club. 

James appears to be feeling a similar way, yawning noisily before announcing, "I'm knackered."

Teddy mumbles his agreement, making his way into the bedroom, stripping down to his pants, and crawling into bed. 

"Hey," James says, pushing at Teddy's hip. "That's my side!"

"Not tonight!" Teddy counters. "Tonight I get the coveted bedside table."

James makes an adorable pouty face. "But where will I put my wand?"

"Just transfigure something!" Teddy suggests, laughing when James attempts to throw a scowl in his direction.

He rummages around the floor before reappearing with a shoe clutched victoriously in his hands. He stumbles a bit before he tosses it in the air, pointing his wand and yelling an incantation. When the dust settles, in the shoe's place sits a small bedside table - or something that vaguely resembles a bedside table anyway. James flashes Teddy a victorious smile, placing his wand atop his creation and then they both watch as it rolls directly off and onto the floor. 

"It's crooked," James states, defeatedly and it's just about the cutest thing Teddy has ever heard. 

He huffs a laugh. "Remind me to never let you heal me when you’re drunk."

"We're not supposed to do that anyway. It's in our code of ethics," James answers seriously. 

Teddy laughs again, stretching to capture James's wrist and tugging gently. "Come on," he encourages. "Get undressed and get into bed."

James complies, stripping off his shirt and trousers in turn. Teddy feels the first stirrings of the heat from the club returning but it's different somehow. Warmer. It’s no less intense but feels as though the arousal is stemming from his affection rather than the alcohol — he doesn’t just want a body, he wants  _ James _ . Knowing how exhausted and intoxicated they both are, he tries to ignore the feeling, only moving closer when James gets in bed to shove his cold feet under James’s leg.

“Merlin!” James shouts. “Move your feet! They’re like ice cubes.”

“I’m cold,” Teddy whines.

“Clearly,” James laughs, despite his protests, pulling Teddy tightly against his body. “Maybe if you slept in something other than pants, you wouldn’t be so cold.”

Teddy half-heartedly hums his agreement, his mind only focusing on the rapid beat of James’s heart beneath his ear. 

“Is that better?” James whispers, a different quality to his voice.

Teddy lifts his eyes to stare into James’s hazel ones, the intensity he sees there nearly taking his breath away. “Perfect,” he breathes.

James’s hand slides up Teddy’s back carefully, as if in slow motion, the tips of his fingers dancing along his spine, leaving goose flesh in their wake. Despite how much he wants this, despite having no idea what they’re doing or what this will be in the morning, Teddy doesn’t dare move. He lies perfectly still, pressed so closely to the man he loves, watching with bated breath every small emotion flicker across James’s beautiful face. When his hand reaches its destination, lightly cupping Teddy’s jaw, he leans close.

“Are you sure?” he asks, so gently that Teddy feels inexplicably emotional. 

Is he sure of what? That this moment is perfect? Is he sure that they should cross this bridge not knowing if there will be a way back? Is he sure? Teddy doesn’t know any of these answers. He doesn’t know a damn thing. The only thing he is positive of is that this moment, James’s warm breath ghosting across his lips, it’s the most alive he’s felt since waking up. 

He nods and then James is leaning in. James Potter — his Godbrother, his best mate, his great protector, the one for whom Teddy won’t hesitate to lay his life down — he’s holding every piece of Teddy together. It’s overwhelming. Teddy closes his eyes against tears just as James brushes his lips so softly across Teddy’s own, that small graze enough to pull a groan from Teddy’s throat. 

“Teddy.” James says his name like a question, forcing Teddy’s eyes open. Looking at James now, seeing his same emotions reflected there, he knows there’s no more decision. Teddy grabs him tightly and answers him not with words but with his lips, his hands, his tongue, allowing his body to speak for him. In that moment as they bring each other pleasure, it isn’t as though he forgets that this is James or that he forgets who James is to him. But instead of that fact turning him off, or making him feel dirty or wrong, the knowledge only makes it better. The memories of teaching a six year old James to ride a broom mix with the memories of James teaching him to walk again, strong arms guiding him through every step just as they are now. Their shared story connecting them in every way possible.

It’s everything. It’s beautiful. It’s too much.


	4. Chapter 4

The morning comes too soon. Teddy blinks his eyes against the harsh light forcing its way through the blinds. He sits with a groan, the sheet pooling around his groin as he cracks his neck to the side and stretches his arms above his head. He leans forward on his bent legs as he takes in the room around him. It isn’t like it is in movies or stories — the events of the previous night don’t come back to him slowly, as if from a dream. Instead with each moment, every breath, his brain reminds him — _ I had sex with James last night. _

And that fact is terrifying.

There’s no denying that he’d wanted James — he’d wanted him for much longer than just last night if he’s being honest with himself. Or that it wasn’t the best night Teddy has ever spent with a lover. Or even that it has never been more clear to him, that he is, without a doubt, madly in love. But currently those feelings are being eclipsed by this persistent suspicion that he took advantage of the situation. 

James was too drunk. He must have felt like he owed it to Teddy. He is just confusing things because Teddy saved him during his formative years.

Those are the thoughts swirling through his mind when he finally slips out of bed and makes his way down the hall. 

There’s a smell drifting from the kitchen, and it’s — well, it’s bad —  _ really  _ bad. The first thing Teddy sees when he rounds the corner is James is standing at the sink, in nothing but pyjama bottoms, rinsing a pan and cursing lightly. Teddy takes a quick survey of the room and it becomes immediately apparent that this was James’s attempt at cooking.

He laughs at the realization despite his anxiety. “What happened here?” he asks, causing James to drop the offensive pan in shock. He recovers quickly, turning to smile sheepishly at Teddy.

“I don’t know why I tried,” he laughs, motioning to the burnt remnants of a failed breakfast. “I should have just gone and picked up muffins.”

Teddy can feel his cheeks heat as he realizes what James was attempting. He was trying to make their morning after special. “You didn’t have to do anything,” Teddy insists, “I could’ve just made our usual for Saturdays.”

James shrugs like it’s no big deal even as his hands fidget and a blush spreads across the bridge of his nose, highlighting the splattering of freckles there. He’s so fucking beautiful.

“Listen,” Teddy starts nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. This feels ridiculously awkward. “Do you want to maybe talk?”

“Yeah, we probably should,” James says, a bit more uneasy than before, as he back against the counter.

Teddy knows that they need to talk, but now that he has initiated the conversation, he has no idea what to say. He’s fighting a silent battle against himself — torn between crowding James against the counter and kissing him squarely on the mouth, and telling him the whole thing was a terrible mistake. He takes a deep breath, trying to ignore the way James’s face falls more with each passing second.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he finally whispers.

James isn’t smiling anymore. “Oh.”

Teddy looks away from him, unable to cope with the disappointment written across his face. “I just mean, I’m sorry if I maybe took advantage of the situation.”

“Took advantage?” James huffs, more than a little relieved. “Are you serious? Teddy, I’m twenty years old, with a bit more experience than you in this department, if you recall?”

Flashes of memories from the previous night flood into his mind, doing nothing to help clear his already jumbled thoughts. “I know,” he stammers, “I just meant your hospitality.”

James furrows his brow in confusion and pushes off the counter, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “What do you mean my ‘hospitality’?”

Teddy is getting properly flustered by his own inability to make himself understood. “It’s only that I want to be clear that you don’t owe me anything,” he spouts.

“Okay?” James says slowly, cautiously.

“You’ve never owed me anything,” Teddy persists, exhaling as he finally feels like he is getting somewhere with this train of thought. “Not your flat, or your bed, or  _ you _ !”

When he finishes James just stands there, staring at him like he has sprouted two heads. Teddy fidgets uncomfortably as the seconds tick by, watching James’s face contort from confusion to looking like he’s smelled something distasteful — and Teddy is near positive the failed breakfast isn’t at fault. When he finally starts speaking, his voice comes out slowly as if talking to a small child or someone without full use of their faculties. “You think I had sex with you last night because I feel like I owe you?”

And that sounds bad, even Teddy can understand that in his flustered state. “No!” he shouts, his hands waving in front of him. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t know what to think. You’ve just been so —” 

“So what?” James spits with a humourless laugh. “Accommodating? Helpful? Helping a mate through a major life trauma? Wanting to take care of the man I’m falling in love with? Nope. Clearly using my home and body as compensation.”

Teddy’s mouth opens and closes a few times, his mind unhelpfully sputtering and freezing on the phrase ‘in love.’ 

“Do  _ you  _ think I owe you?” James asks, the accusatory tone in his voice unmistakable. He’s properly angry now and Teddy wishes he could start this whole morning over again.

“NO,” Teddy babbles. “No. I just thought you might feel that way. And I didn’t want you to because, fuck, this is coming out all wrong.”

“You think?” James attempts a joke but it falls flat because of the tears in his eyes.

“Fuck,” Teddy cries in frustration. “I’m an idiot. I’m just lost, Jamie. I’m so fucking lost. And I’m just trying to figure out where I fit. You know? And I’m worried that I may have taken advantage of you and used you to try and figure that out?”

James looks away, nodding like he understands perfectly but it’s clear that Teddy is breaking his heart. “I think,” he says after too much time has passed. “I think I’m going to get dressed and head out.”

“Jamie,” Teddy pleads, grabbing his arm.

“I’m trying to give you a pass here, Teddy,” James yells, the first tears spilling down his cheeks. “I know you’ve been through a lot and I’m trying to forgive you for being a selfish areshole, so just let me go.”

“No,” Teddy argues. “This is just coming out wrong. You have no idea how strongly I feel about you. I just think maybe you don’t feel the way you think you do. It might have gotten confused because you think I’m your hero or something. But I’m not perfect, James.”

“Fuck,” James shouts, pulling out of Teddy’s grasp. “Fuck, Teddy. I didn’t want to do this!” He angrily swipes the tears from his cheek as he paces back and forth. When he speaks again his voice is calmer but no less full of emotion. “You have  _ no  _ idea. You are going through such a hard time right now but what you don’t realize is that I’ve lived through this for six fucking years. I suffered. Every. Single. Day.”

“Jamie,” Teddy tries, reaching out.

“And you know why?” James continues, ignoring him. “Because even at fourteen, I already loved you, Teddy. I loved you even though you could be selfish, and stubborn, and you were always so fucking pretentious about things. Even when we were kids, you just had this way of talking to people that said you knew you were the smartest in the room. And still I loved you. Not just in spite of those faults but because of them. I loved you when you’d choose Vic over me, I loved you when I was only supposed to look up to you like a big brother, and I loved you even though I knew you’d never see it — never see me.” James stops, his gaze penetrating Teddy to his core. “I already loved you and then I watched you disappear right in front of me —  _ because  _ of me. You’re not my hero, Teddy, because I don’t feel like I was saved that day. You slept through it but I walked through every moment of the hell that was those six years.”

“James.”

James looks away, shaking his head, his anger clearly returning. “And then,” he says, his volume building, “Then you have the audacity to say these things to me. You’re not fucking perfect? You think I don’t know that, Teddy? How dare you question my feelings? How dare you think that I would think so little of myself that I would give myself to someone just because I owe them? I am an adult and I know what I want. I. Want. You. I  _ love _ you. Even though you don’t fucking deserve it right now.”

Teddy only stands there like an idiot, his chest aching in ways he didn’t know possible. James walks over to him and eyes him sadly. “You don’t know where you fit? You know that’s bullshit, Teddy. You fit right here," he says, motioning to himself. "You’re just too scared to admit it.”

James brushes roughly by Teddy, making his way to the floo without even bothering to grab a shirt. Teddy feels completely immobilised, his chest aching, as he watches him disappear in a burst of green flames. He desperately tries to make sense of what just transpired, how everything went to shit so quickly, but he’s coming up empty. The only thing he’s certain of is that he just broke James’s heart and in turn, his own. He squeezes his eyes shut, a feeble attempt to block out the truth of this morning.  _ What is wrong with him? _

There’s no denying that he’s a selfish areshole. Of course he’d thought periodically about all that James had been through over the years but he never fully grasped just how painful it was for him. Then again, he’d never asked, too worried about protecting his own mental health, knowing full well how hard it would have been to hear.

There’s nothing he wants more than to be okay, to put the trauma behind him and just be happy but his past refuses to let go, keeps getting in the way of his new life. He’s desperate to talk this out. Briefly, he considers contacting Marjorie, his mind healer, but he doesn’t want someone on his side right now. He needs to hear all the way he fucked up and how to fix them — he needs harsh truth but told with love — he needs his Gran. 

He breathes deeply, feeling his panic building. The familiar push and pull of his body warring with his brain — attempting to rationalize a nonexistent threat. He refuses to ground his thoughts, instead welcoming the pain — after all, he deserves it right now. He stumbles in a daze to his room — no, this is  _ James’s  _ room, another thing he’d given Teddy without a thought. He rummages around the floor until he comes up with a dirty pair of joggers and a t-shirt, pulling them on in turn. He manages to find his wand and rushes to the floo, the only thought in his mind focuses on finding his Gran.

It is apparent as soon as he lands in his Gran’s house that she isn’t home, her usual chair vacant and the lights dim. He wracks his brain for where she might be, remembering belatedly that it's Saturday. Midday Saturday tea with Harry is a tradition that goes back longer than Teddy’s first memories. What was originally meant as a regular day for Teddy to spend time with Harry — and later the kids — quickly transformed into a fun and comforting tradition for the two adults. There’s no doubt she’ll be at the Potter’s right now.

He grabs a handful of powder and steps back into the floo, but hesitates. He’s sure that James went to Albus’s place, but does Teddy have any right to go to the Potter’s after what he’s done to James? Could he even look them in the eye after he slept with their son and then broke his heart? Breathing is getting more difficult, coming out in ragged pants, this fact further complicated by the tears stinging the corners of his eyes. He doesn’t know if it’s right or fair but either way, it’s what he needs. Without another thought he throws the floo powder and shouts, “Potter residence!”

The first thing he sees when the smoke clears is Harry, standing by his usual chair looking quite startled by Teddy’s sudden appearance.

“Teddy?” He asks, the tone in his voice concerned as he approaches. “What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

“I just — “ Teddy starts, only realizing now that he’s started crying. “I need —” He tries again but fails. Before he can process what is happening, a sob tears its way from his body — a wretched sounding thing, more animal than human.

“Oh, Teddy!” Harry exclaims, pulling him into a hug. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

“Teddy?” His Gran cries from somewhere behind him but he’s too lost to turn around and assure her that he’s okay. 

Harry mumbles something over Teddy’s shoulder but he can’t make out the words. Before he knows it, a second set of hands joins the first on his back, rubbing in soothing circles.

“This is long overdue,” his Gran whispers,.“Just let it all go, love.”

So he does. He lets everything go. Every bit of fear, anger, love, and pain that he has been holding back over the last six months comes out all at once. And he cries. He cries like he hasn’t cried since he was a small child. Snot and tears pooling on Harry’s shoulder, as they both do their best to comfort him with quiet words and a soft rocking motion. 

And then, when his sobs quiet enough to return his voice to him, he tells them everything. Every emotion he’s had since he woke up — the good, bad, and ugly are sobbed out into the universe. He even tells them all about James — how beautiful and perfect he is and how confused it has made him. Everything. Even the bits he's sure they'd have rather he’d kept to himself. 

After what feels like hours, he finds himself at the kitchen table, flanked by the both of them, a cup of warm tea clutched tightly in his hands. 

“I just don't know if this is where I'm supposed to be?” he finally says with a sigh.

“What do you mean?” his Gran prompts.

Teddy shrugs, swallowing hard to avoid a resurgence of tears. “Just— would I have felt this way about him if the accident never happened? I can't imagine that I would have if I'd seen him grow up.”

To his surprise, Harry chuckles. “That's absolutely irrelevant, Teddy. That's as ridiculous as asking would you and James even be close if your parents had lived?” he announces, leaning down to catch Teddy’s eyes. “How about mine? Would we be living in a different world entirely or not living at all? Would James even exist?”

“I know, but this feels different somehow,” he starts, trying to articulate his feelings. “The world didn’t change drastically. It’s almost like I can just about make out where I was supposed to fit in it all.”

“The world didn’t change drastically?” his Gran asks with a laugh that Harry returns. “Teddy, do you think James would have been a healer if the attack didn’t happen? Or do you think Mattie would have gotten his act together and gotten married so young if what happened didn’t make him realize how precious life is?”

And truth be told, that is something that he hadn’t considered before. That the people in his life were all left irrevocably changed by what had happened to  _ him _ . That even the world is an entirely different place because of the events on that day.

“You’re too stuck on what your life should have been,” Harry says, resting his hand on Teddy’s back. “Please trust me when I say, all that matters, is the here and the now, Teddy. Who you are,  _ now _ . How you feel,  _ now _ . Where you belong,  _ now _ .”

“Who you love, now,” Gran says with a warm smile.

Teddy smiles weakly back at her, twisting his mouth to the side. “I am so in love with him.”

“Yeah, we got that,” Harry laughs. “You know, with the amount of times you sobbed it and the snot and all.”

Teddy huffs a laugh even as a wave of embarrassment crashes through him. “Sorry about that,” he mumbles.

“Don’t be,” Harry says with a ruffle to his hair, “I’m just glad you came to us with this.”

Teddy doesn’t leave the Potter house knowing exactly what to do with the rest of his life, his mind isn’t void of all confusion, he doesn’t even have a new found sense of purpose. He leaves with something better. The small, beautiful, invaluable change in him is this — the promise to trust his own mind, the permission to follow his heart, and the acceptance that although his world looks a bit different, it’s exactly as it should be. 

His feet can’t carry him fast enough as he makes an impromptu stop at the Granger-Weasley household. Unexpectedly, Hermione takes the news of his resignation very well. She even seems a bit relieved, as if she could see that his heart wasn’t really in the fight anymore. And, as a bonus, she was more than happy to allow him to take some of the wood that Ron had been saving to build their new kitchen cabinets. Encouraging Teddy to take even more although he assures her that he only needs a few planks. Teddy suspects she may be hoping that the lack of wood will be enough to encourage Ron to contact a professional.

He returns to an empty flat, the memories of their fight hanging heavily in the air, as if the words absorbed into the walls to haunt him forever. His chest feels tight but he knows this isn’t a lost cause. He can make everything right again. With that positivity in his mind, he shakes his head, moves into the bedroom and gets to work.

The Witches and Wizards Guide to Household Carpentry clearly states that this was a fifteen minute project. Teddy is at a loss then, as to how he is  _ just  _ finishing after two, laborious hours. There is sawdust and hunks of wood littered throughout the bedroom, but standing in the center of it all is a functional, and quite handsome, if he does say so himself, bedside table. He stands back, admiring his handiwork when the roar of the floo announces James’s arrival, a bit earlier than Teddy is expecting. He had hoped to grab a quick shower before James came home but he supposes being freshly washed will not increase his chances of forgiveness.

“Teddy?” James calls out, his voice already closer than Teddy expects.

“I’m back here!” He shouts, standing up and nervously brushing the saw dust off of his trousers.

When James enters the room, Teddy is happy to see that he looks much more put together than when they’d parted, his eyes no longer puffy and one of Albus’s worn School of Magizoology shirts stretching across his chest. Teddy’s hands twitch with how much he wants to reach out and touch him. He resists, knowing that the contact would not be welcome.

“What’s all this?” James asks curtly — still angry with him then.

“I quit my job,” Teddy says confidently.

James looks to Teddy’s left, noticing the cabinet for the first time. “Okay — “ he says cautiously. “And you’re going to build furniture for a living?”

“What?” Teddy chortles. “No, I —” Stopping himself, he surveys the bedside table again with fresh eyes. “Hmm, maybe?” He lifts his eyes to James who gives a firm shake of the head. “Right. No. I built this because we need another side table.”

“Oh,” James remarks, clearly unimpressed. “Well done?”

The tone of his voice is so apathetic, it makes Teddy long for the passion of their earlier fight. He wants to cry, to hug him, to get down on his knees — anything to be forgiven.

“Jamie, I’m so sorry.”

James puts his hand up to silence him. “I know, Teddy,” he confirms in a voice that is nothing less than exhausted. “Things got out of hand this morning — and last night.”

“No!” Teddy exclaims, instinctively moving closer. “Well, yeah, this morning definitely got out of hand, you’re right. But don’t say that about last night. Last night was perfect, Jamie. I’m just sorry my being a coward this morning ruined everything.”

James looks down, refusing to speak or even move. Teddy takes his silence as permission to continue.

“I talked to my Gran and Harry today.”

“What?” James gasps, his head snapping up. “About us?”

“Oh shit,” Teddy says, his eyes wide. “Did you not want me to? Damnit. I didn’t think you’d want to keep it a secret. I’m sorry.”

“No, no,” James placates. “Sorry,” he says, running his hand through his hair. “No, it’s fine. I’m just surprised that you felt comfortable with them knowing.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, surprise,” he announces with an over the top flourish of his hands, “Everyone knows I’m in love with you now.”

Teddy laughs, rubbing his hands over his face, when he looks up James is eyeing him with a look of utter bewilderment. “You’re in love with me?”

Teddy scrunches his eyes shut. “I’m clearly pants at romantic declarations.”

“No,” James says, tears in his eyes, “I think you’re doing just fine. Keep going.”

Teddy smiles, a full toothy smile as he moves more purposefully into James’s personal space. “You are the only thing that has gotten me through this time. You’ve been there through every moment and I don’t think I can ever repay you for that. I had it backwards. You saved me, James.” 

“And I might not know what to do for a job or whether I’ll ever be as close with my mates again. But, you’re right, I do know where I fit — where I belong, and it’s with you. You are the only thing in this whole bloody world that I'm sure of, Jamie. And I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness right now — “

“Shut up,” James interrupts, stepping forward and tangling his hand in Teddy’s hair. “This was your pass, okay? I forgive you,” he says, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “And I love you so much it hurts.”

“Can’t have that,” Teddy says, leaning down and smiling against James’s lips. “Maybe I can kiss it and make it feel better?”

James snorts a laugh, bowing his head and burying his face in Teddy’s neck. “You’re right,” he mumbles, “You are pants at romantic declarations!”

Teddy joins him, laughter bubbling out of him a bit harder than the joke warrants. “I’m new at this. Maybe I just need more practice,” he declares.

James meets his eyes, the look on his face transforming from amusement into something heated. He licks his lips, leaning in close to Teddy’s ear. “If we’re going to have you practice a new skill, there’s something I’m much more interested in than romantic declarations.”

Teddy leans back and eyes him hungirly, the messy mop of auburn hair, the mischievous twinkle in his eye. Teddy loves every inch of him.

And when their lips finally meet in a perfect kiss, there’s no doubt in Teddy’s mind that he’s right where he belongs.


End file.
